Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
hi,
how old is child? if she is not letting you see your child, then I think you should take legal route if thats what it takes. You can book a MIAM appointment for yourself. mediator might invite your ex. if nothing comes of it, then they give you permission to apply to court. what you could do first is send polite message to ex, asking for contact with your child, and that you hope this can be sorted amicably, without having to resort to court action.
@bill337
She is 13 1/2 at the moment, pubity started early for her.
My Daughter says it's to stressful to see me at the moment, all my texts calls go unanswered. The last time I saw her we had a good day and she wanted to stay over, my ex was not happy and its been 6 weeks now. I'm grieving terribly, just don’t know what to do for the best.
I had a solicitor letter asking for £400 pr month, I'm willingly giving £250 and offering to pay half for expensive items or clothes. No response.
My ex has a good job with a fully paid rental property with £500 per month income from that, plus £1500 nett, plus child allowance. Plus she took all her earnings that she had saved up, approx. £35'000. My job is temporary agency contract. Any advice is welcome.
We are not married which is a relief, she has never paid the mortgage, instead paying her mortgage off on the rented property
hi, check out the CMS calculator site and see what you should be paying: https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance
if ex is demanding more, then your better off going through child maintenance service. but it has its pitfalls, where you have to pay more for earning more, bonuses, over-time etc.
@bill337
CMS calculator is fine except, I think she is deliberately holding back my child in order to get more money. So if I calculate with 2-3 nights then its reasonable.
The other issue is I'm on an agency contract so next week will be less money 32 hours, so it's difficult to calculate. What is sad about this is that if when I get accsess paying maintenance does not leave much to treat het on. Her parting words were it's not about the money?
@mjb64 hi, it's a sad situation. However, CMS is not based on how much money your ex has and so she can be comfortably well off and you would still need to pay based on your income which I believe you understand.
I know the feeling re paying CMS and not having money to spend on children. I'm on minimum wage and struggle to afford to treat the children. What I do is try to find free things to do with them (Covid dependent) eg park, museums, gaming at home etc.. Treat wise. I've set the scene that gifts will only happen bdays/Xmas which gives me time to save up although I struggle to save up much..
It really isn't about the money but spending time, making memories and having fun. If your child wants to keep coming back then you are doing something right.
All the best.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
