[Solved] having my child on set days but being refused

Hi,

Is there any reason why your ex is not letting you see your daughter? How have you made the arrangements in the past, is it just a verbal agreement?

its just a verbal agreement but i've had to go to the CAB this morning as its mia's 1st bday tomorrow n i dont no if i'm gonna c my little girl on her first bday, its hurting me as a father who cares about their child,

Hi Neil

Try reading yoji's guide to representing yourself at the top of the legal eagle thread. Mediation is normally the first option - this can be expensive so if cost is an issue, then you can go straight for a contact order citing cost as the reason you haven't tried mediation.

Hi There,

As actd has said you can go through court for a contact order and represent yourself, so I would look at doing this especailly as it doesn't seem to have given a reason for stopping access.

Maybe wright a letter first though laying out the original agreement that you had in place and asking for it to be kept too, tell her in this letter that if it isn't then you will have no option but to ask the family court to assist in making a formal order. make sure you explain that this is the last thing you want to do but seeing your little girl mean so much to you.

Darren

Fantastic advice from Darren above; I have written just such a letter recently myself and am now contemplating the potential of legal action and/or the lack of it, despite being the resident father for the preceding five months. I would argue that it is worth exhausting all non-legal options first, as (without sounding manipulative) this can then be shown to be in your favour and is perhaps and genuinely likely to be in your daughter's best interests - however any informal agreement, regardless of mediation, being signed and written, etc, is not enforceable/has no merit in a court.

That being said, any legally binding and enforceable agreement is likely to prove very expensive, inflexible, time-consuming and difficult to achieve and then maintain. It may also then provide you with less time with your daughter than you have become accustomed to or would expect to have had previously (although then it would be enforceable at least). I seem to say this a lot but you can speak to the Coram Children's Legal Centre, who offer free legal advice, at http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/ or on 08088 020 008, to discuss your options (assuming you are in England and have not instructed a solicitor).

I tend to agree with asdad above but would just like to say that I did go to court and self represented myself, I did this as after 2 years of issues and lost contact I didn't feel I had any other option, it cost me a total of £250 and that included travel, parking, postage and coffee.

I now have much better and also more contact their did before, before court I would collect Saturday morning and return him home Sunday evening every other week.

I now get Friday evening through to Sunday evening every other week,2 weeks in the summer holidays and every other Christmas, Christmas eve through until boxing day. Without court action I wouldn't have gotten anywhere.

So I would always keep court as an option as it doesn't have to be expensive.

Darren

even this saturday just gone was my day but she refused me yet again n spent the day wit her new lad n my daughter n now shes black mailing me to c my own daughter, its so hard n i'm now been signed of work through the stress that shes putting me through i get anxious every time i go out n its just so unreasonable

Hi we are going through the same, it seems the mother calls all the shots and if my son dares to disagree , she stops contact. Ive tried to mediate but shes so controlling, my grandaughter is 3 and ive met her 5 times, other family members just once when we kept it secret. My grandaughter is not allowed to go to anyones house, so my son has to trail around for 7 hours, he asnt seen her now for 5 weeks but hoping to in 3 weeks, in the mean time we are sending the court papers, its the only option left. good luck