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[Solved] help


Posts: 2
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Topic starter
(@lockett)
New Member
Joined: 13 years ago

me and my partner have separated and have 2 wonderful girls aged 4 and 6. she asked me to find a place to live. we both have joint tenancy of our council house. i was looking for a 2 bedroom flat so i can have my girl stay . as i am very close to them. but after looking around i know that if she didn't like it she wont let them stay. so i phoned the council and they told me that if i leave id be making myself homeless.after telling her she started shouting and banging doors and ask for the front door key and told me to get out which] i did and slept in my van which is where i have stayed many time before when she starts shouting. about 80 times in 11 years. if she don't get her own way every one here's about it. so to not upset the rest of the street i stay in my work van. i have 2 other girls from a previous relationship that have not been aloud to see there sisters over an argument more that 2 years ago. that is why i need help. i went back the next night and she wouldn't let me in so i went around the back and she was out in the garden with her mate. i asked her can i go in already knowing her answer. so i left again. the next day i went back and she was out so i used the spare keys that i had in my van that she didn't know about but only had a back and side door key. when i phoned her from my mobile to tell her that i was in doors and not going to move she phoned the house just to make sure i was in. she only returned to get some bits when i was at work the next day.its been 2 weeks now. she is using the girls weapons she wont let me see or speak to them until i move out. but if i do that i an making it very hard to get full access. if i don't take action now i will be her puppet for life. i have had a solicitors letter hand delivered tonight telling me to get out or else. i love my girls and its killing me inside.

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(@Filmmaker_1970)
Joined: 15 years ago

Honorable Member
Posts: 458

You have every right too be there, given that your name appears on the tenancy agreement. I'm not sure that her solicitor can force you to leave your own home, because only your landlord, the local authority, could take that action. I would speak to the Citizen's Advice Bureau about this, or perhaps you can go and see a solicitor yourself? Most of them offer a free 45 minute initial consultation, so they could tell you were you stand. If you ask them to respond to the letter then they'll start charging you, but I think you just want some advice really.

Where has the mother moved to? You can make an application to the courts for a contact order to see your children, which I would recommend you do as I don't feel that mediation is an option at the moment.

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(@lockett)
Joined: 13 years ago

New Member
Posts: 2

the mother has moved to her mothers and farther house with the kids as they are away in VAGAS they go there a lot for about 3months at a time and will be back in 2 weeks,

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(@Filmmaker_1970)
Joined: 15 years ago

Honorable Member
Posts: 458

Hi Lockett,

I would make an appointment to see a solictor as regards living arrangements. As I said most of them offer a free 45 minute consultation and they should be able to tell you were you stand legally.

With regards to the children if the mother continues to withhold contact, you could ask her to consider mediation as a means to resolve the issue. However, given that she appears to be quite combative, I would suggest that you make an application for a contact order. A court will have expected you to have tried mediation, but I would say that you're hopeful she'll be more amenable to the idea of mediation when she receives a communication from the court. I would say that mediation would be more productive in this scenario as any agreement that you both reach can go back to court to be enshrined into a court order. If you go into mediation now, without involving the court, she can back out of any agreement. If you do court ordered mediation, you can have a court order at the end of it that can be enforced should she try to withhold contact again.

As you currently don't have a solicitor I would contact the Coram Children's Legal Centre (CCLC) for some free legal advice regarding contact ith your children. There's a link to their website at the foot of this page.

I'd also take a look at Yoji's Guide To Representing Yourself In Court, which you'll find at the top of the Legal Eagle forum. A lot of Dads are looking at this option because they don't qualify for legal aid and are finding that the process can be quite productive.

FM '70

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