[Solved] HELP!!

unless you can prove that she is intending to move solely to make contact difficult, there's not a lot you can do to stop her unless it's to a different country (Scotland, Ireland etc) With regards to the blackmail, you have to consider that if you give her everything she wants, then she may still move, - she obviously has that in mind - so I'd get legal advice on sorting out the best possible deal for yourself and get contact sorted at the same time. If she gets everything she wants this time, she'll assume she can do it again.

Hey Bud,

Do you have Parental Responsibility??????????????????

If you do then im afraid its not that simple for her. lol :cheer:

If you do not have PR then get this immediately as she can do what she likes.

Are you on the Birth certificate???????? When was your child born?????

It is extremely important you have PR to limit her moving such a distance. As the Court find this completely unreasonable behavior and unless seemed better for the children this can be seen as obstruction to the father and therefore the law is on your side.

Let me know and ill try to help

Hey Shaun

Thanks for your mail..apologies for the delay in replying

She has agreed 50-50 custody a month ago..however now she thinks she is going only to get 50-50 of our cash..she is trying to blackmail me...a mortgage free house..or I move and take the kids to yorkshire..

My solicitor sees this as well and is not happy...

My mrs is trying to stiff me ...and take all the money..she has not contributed a bean to the house funds at all..and thinks she can waltz out with £400k!!
she always wants to me to move out (which I cannot afford to do)...so its awkward to say the least!!

Cheers for any support / help you can offer me..I am really not in a good place

Sorry forgot to add I have full PR as I have been very very involved in the childrens up bring...infact if anything I have been the main carer..

I am certainly no legal expert in the matter but i can give you my experiences in my case - one thing to note though is that my sister in law is fairly high up in social services and had advised me a little on the early days of my split with my ex wife.

Me and my wife split and my ex wife decided she wanted the house, the kids and to move her new man in...while i paid for all that and moved out but continued to pay for everything....she said that with an 'or else' attitude.
I fought that with an 'over my dead body' and agreed that i would split the equity in the house and have paid her what was due.
I asked my sister in law about it. She informed me that there is now no longer any legal aid for family issues like this so if my ex wanted to keep the house or force me to buy her a house etc she would have to fund the court costs from the outset, which she wouldn't be able to afford.
Even if she had the funds to do that, as i understand it, the whole point of the court is to make sure that the kids needs are the most important. They will not sanction something where it means one parent is left living the high life, mortgage free, while the other works all hours god sends to pay for everything but lives in a shoebox.

Any children would be miles worse off in that case.

I hope that helps a bit
Good luck

She is trying to blackmail me...big pay off or she will go back on 50-50% custody as previously agreed..and take the kids to yorkshire to live (180 miles away)... I d hope the court will see sense...and that they dont just side with the 'mother' just because...

Heya Walshy,

as ACTD suggested - any copies of correspondence to this effect that she is blackmailing you or will move?

What you could do is say if she wants to do this lets get it all done in writing 🙂

They should not side with anyone just have the kids interest at heart.

I cannot recall if you have put a C100 for residence and fixed contact?

If she moves and is looking after the kids as well there is an obligation to ensure she has a secure safe environment for the children. If you went to court the judge may say if you both plan to look after the children the house may need to get sold and the proceeds split so you can equally provide.

Have you tried mediation?

BW

Hi Boycie

Yes we have this 'veiled' blackmail in writing..via her solicitor..belive it or not...mortgage free house and she will agree to a 50-50 custody...(which she agreed a month ago)..or she will move to yorkshire...the house is on the market...but she is after 80-20% split as she has no mortgage capacity (she is self employed) ..and as I am working..albeit stillunder probation in a new job..I hve huge mortgage capacity..hence I should get up t my neck in debt!!

You have a starting point mate,

80-20.....go to mediation see how much she will budge. If you can offer 60-40 ultimately that kinda compromise may work.

I think if this is gonna cause disruption to the childrens lives you may have a shout. Have applications gone to the court?

Some of the wiser folk on the site will be able to advise about your rights as a father to prevent moving, but sounds like she wont move unless she see's the doh.

Good luck!

Thanks Mate..Rest assured I aint gonna roll over..my kids have already said they dont want to change schools and move miles away from me..I think 50-5- equity is fair ..why should men get shafted as and when a woman decides he has had enough!! Nice work if you can get it eh? cheers

Some of the wiser folk on the site ...

I think your experiences puts you pretty high up the list, boycie 🙂

Hi Boycie..I have the 'veiled blackmail' threat in writing from her brief...my brief even confirmed that she she this as a threat...its unbelievable that the courts could even consider giving her a golden ticket!!..It has been agreed 50-50 custody previously ..but she is going back on that because she isnt getting want she wants..ie a mortgage free house!!