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firstly hi to all, i have looked through this site and would just like to say this is a blessing i have been pulling my hair out trying to find the info im looking for hopefully someone can help me.
ill try not to make it too long! :unsure:
me and my ex separated in oct 2011 and we are still going through a divorce(her holding it up), we have to kids 8 and 4 who i have 2 nights a week and all weekend once a month.
not long after we separated social services were called by someone at school as she had hit our son with a hoover pipe and with shoes,she was neglecting the childrens personal hygiene and the house was not suitable,they were late for school allot due to her not getting out of bed.
social services gave her the help she needed and she apparently changed.
now im back to square one but its my son who is telling me he doesnt want to go back home as his mom keeps shouting and hitting him with shoes and stuff(his words)he plays up for his mom constantly and shouts back at her and hits her.
she says she cant cope with him but wont let him live with me as she will lose the money for him(very selfish woman always has been)
sorry this has turned into an essay but i just want to know if i can keep him with me if i do she will phone the police but can they take him when he is scared and doesnt want to be hit any more.
Hi Red,
I would advise you not to just keep your son as you could harm your case, as your ex has residency if you just take either of your children she would as you say call the police and you would have to fight to prove your reasoning.
I would contact social services yourself and ask them to asses again and explain what you have here, if you go on record and tell social services you are more likely to get a result quicker without damaging your case.
Explain what your son has said about being hit by her and let them take care of it, rather than taking the law into your own hands, I know this will be hard but stay on the right side and it will pay off.
GTTS
thank you so much i was thinking the same but then will she do as they say again and then in 6 months time will it start again :unsure:
I think if social see she has re lapsed and has been hitting your son at all let alone with "stuff" they will act, accordingly.
What I would do though is start to keep a log of everything that happens go back a way if you like and just note down things you notice, keep this factual and leave what "you think" could be the case. o if your sone tells you something, or if you see marks on him (discretely take pictures of marks if you can without spooking your son) by having a log you will make things easier. but as said don't give oppinions in this log or it could come accros as mud slinging.
Keep us posted
GTTS
Hi there 🙂
Its heartbreaking when you know your child is being ill treated and is unhappy. I think the other problem you have is that there are two children involved here and removing just one of them when the allegations are of physical abuse might look a little odd....both children need to be protected, its just that your son has vocalized his fears. Is he the older of the two children?
As far as keeping them after a contact visit, it can be done as long as their mother doesnt have a Residence Order granted by a Court, and you have Parental Responsibility. As she has been investigated before, they would have been children in need and there would have been a care plan in place. This will still be on file so calling Social Services beforehand is a good idea, you could ask them if they would support you keeping the children because of the risks. Also, just to cover all bases its advisable to call the police, explain the situation and the history of safeguarding issues, and ask if you were to keep them after a contact visit, would they be able to take them off you and place them back with the mother. There doesnt seem to be consistency and different police forces seem to have different protocols.
If you embark on this plan of action, you must immediately apply for Residency. You can request that this be classed as an emergency and then the court should hear the case within days as opposed to weeks.
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