[Solved] help me do the right thing

Hi Ya,

Well, if im honest im new to all this myself only having a four week old son but i'm also in a very similer position.

can I recomend you read some of my posts and see if anyof the advice the folk on here have given me wouod help you?

I assume your on the birth cert for both children? If so, dont worry, it seems law is on our side with ref to access to a point.

I hope that this has been some kind of help to you. 🙂

All the best

John

Hi Johnny,

I changed locks on front door as her family have forced me to hand over a key.
said i not get kids over night all fun.

and yes i am on birth certificate which is good.

going to be nasty which is not fair on kids

whatever you decide to do, take your time....

I've noticed that the more it hurts the more I want my son, that isn't a bad thing BUT it can also lead to the whole heart leads over the head and rash decisions get made.

Here if you need a chat 🙂

That's some good advice Taggy....take your time.

I think you might think about trying mediation. Here's a link www.nfm.org.uk

It might help to calm things down a bit and get you both talking. If agreement can't be reached then the next step would be to apply to the court for contact.

Thank you both

well her mother think she has more rights than me now and her boyfriend who is paying CSA now because they have just cached up to him calling me a bad dad lol

still seeing the kids but just found out today she had not paid last months rent which I sent her money for bills £744+ and she's not payed rent pffft.. yet keeps chucking money at her mum and her family.

I transferred it via the bank could I say that be money for children?
had her family threaten me ect all recorded as I not let her take everything out the house offered her 80% of the stuff for the boys

what a day

Hi there, if you are on the birth cert you have automatic PR. You can get free 1/2 hr advice from any solicitor re your situation or you can see CAB. See if she will attend mediation? Let me know how you get on? X

Hi,

She not attend mediation she wants everything her way (prob mother advised her).
I have seen a solicitor last week going back next week. just want to see my boy 🙂

she not set out time for me see them this weekend got to wait till she's free
and she didn't pay rent last month(I sent her money via bank) and left me in the shite so all fun.

Hi there,

Just a word of caution, I see you have mentioned the names of your children, this isn't wise, especially as you may be going to court for contact. I suggest you try and remain as anonymous as possible as it has been known for the mothers to come across posts from upset husbands talking about them and the court cases and there have been serious repercussions for them....if you discuss court proceedings, as the family courts are closed you would be in contempt of court...some men have been imprisoned for this!

You can edit your post and remove names and any other details that might identify you.

Thanks that be a good idea... 🙂

I'll add to that advice (jonnybobs - noticed one of your posts would be affected) - it's not a good idea to quote from anything (court documents, emails, texts etc) word for word as a google search will find that in one hit if it's searched for, so paraphrasing is a good idea on the forum. I've certainly used this to find things before on the internet - just to illustrate, I just googled:
"me and my partner have split up i she has up and left for her mums because" which is a direct from your first post, and it brought me straight here.

Google can be your enemy sometime :boohoo:

Hi Guy's again

My ex has received a letter off solicitor now has stopped all access i asked when i can see them next she said that depends how good my solicitor is.

all i am asking for (to start with) is my oldest son for 1 day at weekend 9-am till 6am without my ex present and one day in week for tea at mine.
and my young son 2 months old at start of seeing my oldest and when he leaves and a walk, as he still needs his mum breast milk and very very hungry baby.

but tonite just got home ex sent a text saying she just brought boys to see me and i wasn't in she gave no notice of this at all or i would have been in... any one advise me where to go from here? 🙁

Your solicitor will advise, but basically, since mediation has failed, (I think you need FM1 - others on here know this better than me), then you are looking at going to court for a contact order.

However, if your ex did genuinely try to bring your sons next, it may be worth having one more shot at mediation.

I'm sure you are keeping all texts.

Hi Guys

How do/did cope when ex partner refuses to let you see them?

I can see them bot she wants her mother and her mothers partner (with known metal health issues her mother ) to be there and I don't want that as she will cause issues in front of my children and arguments and try and provoke me in to reacting as they say I have a short temper. even though her mother called my work place to complain I refused to be near her as she has anger issues.

I have good family and friend support network just wondering if they are any other tricks.

Perhaps you should put your concerns in writing, point out the previous tension between you and her mother and suggest an alternative....maybe a member of your family, or perhaps somewhere public like a play centre where you don't have to sit with them but can spend some time with your children.