Hi I recently went to court with my x so I could see my son and got the contact order I wanted but mostly on her terms. I would like to go back to court as she is not sticking to the rules which are 10am till 5pm she is telling me he's asleep or he's not ready when I'm parked up outside her house and having to wait and she says bring him back later than 5pm a lot as she says she's working,also getting accused of nonsense thing apparently cutting his hair and nails when I didn't but not allowed anyway. Also I'm driving 17miles to pick him up and 17miles to take him back you think I stand a chance she would have to meet me half way if I took her back to court?
It’s difficult as although you may get him a little later than 10, she is still allowing access, as for the later return maybe you could negotiate 6pm return if it suited her work better in getting back for him?
It could be as you have been awarded contact she is a little bruised and just playing up a little but will settle ,
it’s not fun going to court so i would say avoid at all cost and if you are seeing your child yes the timing is a little out but a small sacrifice i know not fair but when has it been for us fathers?
Also the millage isn’t a massive amount maybe you could ask her to collect him from you if you pick him up but again it’s something that in the grand scheme of things shouldn’t really be an issue i do all the picking up dropping off as my ex would be over and hour late and children waiting not nice so to keep in control i felt it best i did this,
Keep a diary of dates and if she is later giving him to you or when you return so if in the future it get’s worse you have your evidence ,
You could write a formal letter if it gets worse just stating the current contact arrangements and ask if she is having any issues with them as you may be able to settle this between yourselves
Sadly even with a court order us guys still need to jump the hoops
Great advice above,
Keep a diary and all txt emails to and from each of you.
But as said the change is small so I wouldn't go back to court, if you did at this stage the judge could look at it as you just being picky, it's not right that your messed about, but as said it's minor in the scheme of things, I agree about asking if it's easier to drop back later due to her work, then you know where you stand, you could even offer to collect at 10:30 and drop back at 6-6:30 make this offer through txt or email, so you have proof you made the offer, as if things do get worse and you do end up in court it will show that you tried to work around the issues and should go in your favour.
With regards to the travel, a judge isn't able to enforce that she does any travel at all, they can suggest but if she doesn't agree then it can't be forced.
GTTS
To be honest, with regards the travel, I wouldn't even raise it - it would be a small victory for her and that might lead her onto think she can get away with more. Only fight for the things that really matter.
To be honest, with regards the travel, I wouldn't even raise it - it would be a small victory for her and that might lead her onto think she can get away with more. Only fight for the things that really matter.
I 2nd that opinion, Chose your battles wisely, don't only go for dead certs but think of the outcome if you lose the battle and what effect could have on the future ones.
GTTS
Yea thanks for the bit of advice guys. another problem has occurred she didnt allow me my sons birth certificate to open up a bank account for him,so I went and got one through the post few weeks ago. Today she has asked for my passport so my son can get a passport they plan on going away 2weeks in June (my 2 Sundays I have him) and 2weeks in October (my 2 Sundays I have him) the contact order states she can take my son away 1sunday a month. She is breaking the rules of a contact order,also she never turned up for her seperated parents course yet I have. Any advice would be great thanks
She is cutting it fine applying for a passport anyway - it's up to you whether you give her your passport number. You could try to negotiate that you get extra weeks instead of the one's you should have, but if not, then you would have to go for enforcement of the contact order. It does seem like she is testing the boundaries at the moment.
Yeah I have to say the separated parents course was well worth going to I just wish they would make her go as it really makes you think about your actions and about the child more than your self.
So does this mean because I have a contact order she can't apply for a passport for my son without my approval?
Is the court case over, is the order you have a final order?
I think either parent can apply for a passport for the child but if the parent intending to take the child abroad doesn't have a residence order then they must seek the permission of the other parent, as long as they have PR.
As actd said, try and negotiate some alternative contact to make up what you are going to lose, mediation would be the best place to do this.
Enforcement of the order is also an option but the court may see your inflexibility as not having the child's best interests at heart and allow it anyway....it's always better to try and keep it out of court if at all possible.
She could also apply to court for a variation of the order or a Specific Issue Order if you refuse.
Yeah mediation she didn't turn up for so that's not an option after me paying the £100 or what ever it was last year. I have a written contact order we went to court the once and agreed on something. She never turned up for the separated parents course either and I'm sure the court are informed of this as I seen it on the letter