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Hi I have filled out all the correct paperwork, been to court seen Cafcas had a report written been back to court. Told I could see my children the judge wanted date to put in the court order my ex's solicitor said she had tried to contact the Cafcas officer had he was not available, so it was arranaged I would see them within 2 weeks of the hearing. I left court and rang the Cafcas officer right away, I spoke with him and he informed me that no one had rung and no messages had been left. He arranged for me to see my children yesterday. I arrived 30 mins prior to appointment I waited an hour and half after our prearranged time, the Cafcas officer spoke with her solicitor who said she had moved home and changed her mobile number, a few minutes later they rang back with the new number.
He rang my ex who stated she had no letter and was not aware of the appointment, he asked her to bring them now but she refused, she has refused to give her new address so we can arrange a new date.
My belief is that both my ex and her solicitor knew she was moving (as there was only 12 days between moving and the court date) and were obstructive in providing a date at the hearing knowing any letters regarding contact would not be received.
The Cafcas officer believes we will have to go back to court, costing me more money I have spent thousands over a two year period I have been fighting to see my children, same old story she gets legal aid.
She knows that at some point I will run out of money, and eventually have to give up. How can this be right the cafcas report states my children are desperate to see me and yet she totally ignores this. My question is this will I ever see my children again and what happens now she will try and lie her way round the system so won't be held in contempt of court.
I feel so devastated meanwhile she poisons the girls saying I don't love them, this is so wrong.
Any help would be appreciated
You are doing everything right, and she is not. Unfortunately, there is little you can do to avoid further costs, except to do the work yourself, and having got this far, it may be worth considering doing just that - might be worth talking to your solicitor to explain that you are running out of money, and that he works towards a position of handing over to you - possibly with occasional meetings with him for advice.
At some point, your ex is going to have to allow contact or, as you have said, be in contempt - the courts do not look on contempt at all well, so she is going to run out of options soon enough.
Wife has called police and said I'm outside her house, they rang at 2am told me to go to my nearest police station, that was closed so had to travel another ten miles to prove I was over 70 miles away. Now she is saying I am emailing her son and abusing him when he is the person emailing me. Tonight I have been accused of following her daughter round town, even though I am in Birmingham and she is in Portsmouth.
Police are quite threatening despite the fact I have always been where I said I was and proved her son is the person emailing me! I am shocked how they believe everything she says without exception, they told me it makes no difference if the threat she feels when she calls is real or perceived.
I have no chance with all this rubbish going on when are we going to be treated as equals were our children are concerned.
I don't know whether you can make a complaint to the police, either about their actions or about your ex - it's worth getting advice on this.
Ultimately, what the police think is less relevant if you can prove in court that your ex is lying, as this will certainly go against her. My experience of the judges in the family court is that they are very sharp and very good at getting the salient facts out of what is being said.
Dear Barney,
Thank you for contacting the Children’s Legal Centre, we apologise for the delay in responding to your query.
Unfortunately, in order to enforce a contact order you will be required to return the matter to court.
You are able to do this yourself or using a solicitor, whichever you prefer.
As there is a court order in place the mother should be complying with this and the court may deem it appropriate to penalise her if she does not.
If you feel that your ex partner is harassing you by contacting the police with false allegations and other such things, you are able to contact the police yourself, and they may or may not decide to take some action on this.
Alternatively, when the matter is returned to the court you should make them aware of this and that you believe your ex partner to be doing all she can to make things difficult for you.
If you are unhappy with the actions of the police and believe that they have not acted correctly then you have the option of making an official complaint, which would firstly be made to the police department in question in writing, and if you are still unhappy to the Independent Police Complaints Commission who you can find out more information about at http://www.ipcc.gov.uk/index/complaints.htm .
We hope this information is useful to you, should you require any further advice on issues of Child Law, please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help you.
Kind Regards
Children’s Legal Centre
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