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Hello to all,
As my title states I need help fast.
First I will give you some background information to get you up to speed. I have an 8 year old son who i see regular and have him in my care for atleast 3 nights a week, i was paying £130 a month private maintenance and me and my son have a great relationship. This until I was a few days late paying my maintenace due to it not going into my bank on time. Since this my son's mother, my ex has stopped me from seeing my son. I have in the mean time set up with the CSA so that monthly payments can be taken by them instead of the private way due to my son's mum being..... well i best not say. She is using my son as a weapon and has stopped me from seeing him until we have been to a mediator. I've died inside as im sure many have in the past. I need advice as what to do, i have heard of a contact order but know this may take a while, also i know that my ex is in a volatile relationship at the moment. I did have text message's to prove this but i deleted them as she said the situation was resolved. I cannot prove this but can i still seek to get my son removed from them and into my care. I have PR as i am named on the birth certificate. All i want is to see my son. Chrostmas is around the corner and i won't have him used against me like a weapon. He will be crushed inside and asking questions. If anyone can help please please do so. I am at a lost. If i have to go to court then i will. I want the best for my son.
Firstly do not despair too much (easier for me to say i know!)...you're in good company here, the contributers on this site have a wealth of advice and knowledge to pass on.
Meadiation is the first thing you need to have at least tried....if you apply directly for a contact order the courts will suggest Meediation first and that then delays things further on.
so see if you can get meaditation sorted quickly and see how it goes....if that fails and then there are some excelent guides at the top of the Legal section for Contact order and for Representing yourself in court to save on potentially horrific legal bills.
The thing you need to know is you are not alone and if you have to go down the Court and contact order route then it could be a lengthy route. however not each case goes that way and i hope that yours does not go the way so many seem to do once the ex's get backed in to a corner by the legal system.
Good luck.
Hi thanks for the speedy reply,
My biggest fear is that my son is in a house that has a history of volatile violence. I have been told firstly by this by my son's mother. I was wandering if there was anything i can do although i cannot prove this i know it is taking place.
Others will be better placed to offer you advice on that one.
If you have genuine reason for concern and can prove this then as a responsible parent you need to do everything you can to prevent anything happening to your child and if that means to have your child removed from that environment then it needs doing.
But going down the route of getting Child Services (social services) I would suggest will only antagonise your ex further and likely stop all contact you may have.
Also bear in mind if you were to walk in and remove your child yourself that would be classed as “Abduction” and that will not help you at court at all!
I hate to say it but anything you do from now on against her to get your child out of the violent home without proof is going to look like “sour grapes”
Try and get mediation going and get some proper legal advice with what you can do with regards your fears…ask in the Legal section.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
