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[Solved] Help seeing my son again

Active Member Registered


I don’t really know where to start here, But since I’ve split from my ex which was in 2014 I’ve had constant problems with seeing my son who has just turned 6.

We had some problems in the relationship and she was quite violent against me, Such as one time she put a knife to my throat and punched me a couple of times in the face to which I called the police but couldn’t bring my self to press to charges as it would of resulted in social services being involved and I didn’t want to separate, After that she kept becoming violent and probably knew I wouldn’t do anything, The day we split I came to get some things and she attacked me and cut my lip and gave me a black eye. I went to the police station and told them what had happened and I just wanted my stuff but they weren't interested.

So anyway, She let me see my son once a week but as soon as I said I couldn’t have him one weekend she would absolutely hit the roof and would even threaten that if I didn’t come out of work and get him she’d stop me from seeing him.

Sometimes I didn’t have him some weekends and sometimes I couldn’t because she was busy with him or he was ill, This went on for some time where she would stop access for a year and then alllow me to see him and then I’d say I couldn’t do a certain weekend and she’s stop access.

The last time I seen him was 10montgs ago, I’ve sent messages a couple of times a week and she’s just blocked me and I’ve had to make about 30 accounts to try and message her to allow me to see him but she just blocks, I looked into court but I didn’t really understand how it worked so I just left it and kept messaging.

I sent money every week through bank transfer also

But now I’ve had enough and sent her letter asking her to reinstate access and asked about mediation and gave her 7 days to respond other wise I’d contact the courts and ask for a contact order.

I know for a fact she won’t respond and I know she won’t agree to mediation, What if she refuses mediation... then what do I do... can I still apply for the court order, would I have to attend mediation by myself.

Topic starter Posted : 03/05/2018 2:40 am
Active Member Registered

Sorry I’ve just read that and I’ve noticed I’ve missing some words, i send money every week not I sent.

Topic starter Posted : 03/05/2018 2:44 am

how contact centres work

Trusted Member Registered


So firstly you must stop contacting your ex, this could be seen as harassment and as many others on here have seen this can cause a lot of problems going forward.

You must then contact a mediation service to arrange for a miam appointment these can be done over the phone and mine cost around £100, do this right away, they will then contact your ex and ask if she wants to attend mediation, if she says no they will give you a form to attach to your c100.

To start court you need the mediator form and a c100, plus £215 fee, do not be scared to do this yourself the guys on here give great advice and are always able to help


Posted : 03/05/2018 2:54 pm
Sam2202 and Sam2202 reacted
Active Member Registered


My typing was all over the place in that, I sent a message asking if I can see him about 2 times a month but I wasn’t excessive or threatening so hopefully she can’t try and use that against me.

Could I avoid mediation as she can get quite violent and verbal, I read up domestic violence and mediation that you don’t have to attend if that’s the case and you can go straight to court.

If not.

I’ll look into the mediation now, What if she doesn’t respond to them when they ask her? Or would they give her a time frame On how long she has to apply.

Topic starter Posted : 03/05/2018 4:38 pm

top tips to support your child after breakup

Illustrious Member Registered

Hi there

If you give the mediator a call, you can discuss the history of DV and ask if they would sign off the form without the need for mediation, to enable you to make the application directly to court for a Child Arrangements Order.

If the mediator thinks mediation should be tried, you can ask to sit in separate rooms at mediation, which is called shuttle mediation, or as Jmax says, they may do it over the phone.

As Jmax advises, don't attempt to contact her as she can very easily take an injunction out on you.

Court can be daunting, but we will do all we can to advise and support you. It might be helpful for you to attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, where you will get face to face assistance, here's a link to their website where you'll find details of meetings nationally, hopefully there will be one in your area.

All the best

Posted : 04/05/2018 2:01 pm

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