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Hello dads, i'm in a pickle, Last year me and my wife separated, she has since found another man to manipulate. She had 2 children when we got together and had 2 with me, since splitting up she has informed me that i'm not the father to out eldest and has told me who is, I am not on her birth certificate and i am certain that she is not mine much to my dismay. I love this girl she and my son are my everything, my daughter knows me as dad, she plays up for her mum and crys her self to sleep asking for me. I have been refused access to them both and unsure what i can do, I know i have a legal right to fight for my son, but I want them both. Is there any thing i can do, daughter is 4 now and son is 2,
Hi Dan and welcome 🙂
Are you on your sons birth certificate?
You do have rights even as a non bio father...and I applaud you for being able to rise above this, being a Dad is so much more than who's genes she's got. The courts on the whole do recognise your role and you can apply for Parental Responsibility for her.
If you are named on your sons birth certificate you will automatically have PR for him.
The first step is to write her a letter and request that she reinstate contact with both children. Tell her that as far as you are concerned the biological aspect is of no consequence to you, you have brought your daughter up since birth and have a very strong father/daughter bond with her. Request that she makes the children available to you on a specific day/s at a specific time. Ask if you can pick them up and drop them off at her home, but if that is not appropriate ask her to suggest a handover place that she is comfortable with. Finally you can tell her that if she refuses your requests then you will have no alternative but to take matters to Mediation and failing that, court. The children have the right to have both parents in their lives and as their parent you will do everything in your power to make sure their rights are recognised. Then give her 14 days to respond. Try and keep the tone informal and non threatening!
If at the end of 14 days she has not responded then you can go to Mediation. This is the accepted first step before taking it to court. Mediation is where you would attend initially and talk through your concerns with the mediator, after which he/she would then write to your wife and invite her to attend. If she refuses or attends but no agreement can be reached, then you will be issued with a form FM1 which you would submit to court with the C100 form, this is the form you use when applying for contact through the family court.s.
In April of this year Legal Aid for family law cases was stopped so there is no financial assistance to cover solicitors costs. There is lots of info here about self representing though and lots of Dads have chosen to go down this route. If you go to the top of the Legal Eagle section you will find two stickys about representing yourself and one about the C100 form.
Legal Aid is still available for Mediation, and if you are on benefits or a low income you will be eligible. The same applies to the £200 court fee to apply for contact.
Oops I meant to give you a couple of links! The first is to the Mediation service website - lots of info on there. The second is a link to,the Legal Aid calculator to see if you are eligible for help with Mediation.
www.nfm.org.uk
www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid
As you can appreciate, this situation is fairly uncommon on here so I thought I would have a look around for more information on the right to PR for a non bio father....what I have discovered could throw a spanner in the works....it seems that as long as you have been in the child's life for 3 of the last 5 years, and living with them in the last three months, you can apply for PR.....The first part of that is ok but it's the part where you have lived with them in the last three months that may be a problem. I'm sorry if I have given you the wrong information Dan and the best advice I can give in the corcumstances is that you get legal advice on this. There are a number of solicitors that give a free half an hour initial consultation. Or alternatively I can ask the moderators to ask the Coram Children's Legal Centre to come and advise you...That can take a couple of days so if you can't wait for their response there's a link to their website a the bottom of the page. They have a free phone number and web chat and can advise you on the legal aspects of your case as long as you don't have a solicitor.
Once again my apologies for not researching further before answering your query 🙂
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