[Solved] How do I get residency of my son

Hi PFG and welcome!

Take a look at the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section. Theres a guide to representing yourself in Court and another about the C100 Contact Order.

Also google the CSA calculator, have a wage slip handy it will help when filling it in. but that should tell you what you should be paying. There is a reduction of CSA for parents that have their children for more than 52 nights per year. I read somewhere that for 52 nights take 1/7th off the maintenance calculation, for 104 nights take 2/7ths off, for 156 nights take off 3/7ths ....and so on. But do please check this out.

You could try Mediation and you'll find more information at www.nfm.org.uk. The courts willl almost always expect that all avenues to reach agreement have been exhausted before asking for a court decision. Mediation is a part of this proccess.

Finally when all else fails you could apply to court for either Shared Residency or Residency. this will involve reports from CAFCASS who will want to interview all parties involved, including the children. The courts only act in the best interests of the children and your son at least is old enough to have his wishes taken into account.

Good luck with everything.

Hi PFG

The CSA will base their decision on who gets the child benefit - with the schedule you have said above, I would say that you should be receiving it for your son, and your ex getting it for your daughter? Is this the case?

Hi actd.

When I spoke to the CSA they recommended I apply for child benefit for my son, which I have now done. At the same time I completed C100 applying for residency. I doubt I'll get either, being the Father and all that; it's incredibly difficult to get anything off the mother unless there is some form of risk or abuse (and I don't think her shouting at him all the time really falls into those categories).

In terms of mediation, I don't expect this to happen as the mother is very aggressive/abusive verbally and thinks nothing of lying to whomever to further her means, ie, demands for more money.

BTW, this is the woman I used to pay, voluntarily £700 p/m to!!

Thanks for your replies!!

Hi PFG

Dont be so sure you wont get Residency, they will listen to your son because he is 13 and old enough to know what he wants.... and as actd says you have your son the majority of the time so you are entitled to the child benefit.

As you have applied to the court its always advisable to keep a record of all conversations between you and your ex, with dates and times and dont delete txts or emails. This may prove helpful when you go to court. Always try and be civil with her even if she is abusing you, especially when txting or emailing. You want to show that you are reasonable and have the childrens best interests at heart. Your ex's refusal to participate in mediation and your willingness to do so, will also go in your favour in court, and they may well order that you both attend mediation anyway to resolve the situation. There wouldn't be any harm in writing to her and asking her if she would consider it, keep a copy of the letter and send it recorded delivery.

Good luck with it all.