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Hi Trappy,
Firstly, welcome to Dad Talk.
I understand what you're saying regarding renting a house and it sounds like a pragmatic approach.
What I can do is contact our legal experts and ask them to reply to this thread with their advice. It can take a couple of days for their reply to arrive.
Regards
LittleOcean
Also is someone can reccomend a terrier of a solicitor in the South that would be appreciated, rest assured I want to do what is right for my son.
Sending you a private message
Dear Trappy
In relation to the financial issues you mention in your post, we would recommend that you speak to a local solicitor or alternatively visit your local Citizen’s Advice Bureau ( www.citizensadvice.org.uk ).
It is not clear whether or not you have parental responsibility from your post. Parental responsibility, in everyday terms, means an ability to have an input into major decisions relating to the children. If you are on your son’s birth certificate then you will automatically have parental responsibility for your child.
Assuming you do have parental responsibility, it is possible for you or your partner has the ability to be the resident parent of your son. It is up to you to decide between yourselves who should assume the role of resident parent. If you cannot agree who should be the resident parent then it will be decided by whoever assumes the day to day care of the child.
Therefore, the easiest way to gain joint residence is by amicable agreement. If you do not feel you and your partner will be able to agree on this issue then you could try offering family mediation. Mediation is a process whereby you and your partner sit down with an independent third party and try to make an agreement in relation to your son. National Family Mediation ( www.nfm.org.uk ) is a national organisation that can provide mediation services. You can contact them by telephoning 01392 271610.
If mediation is unsuccessful then it is also possible to make an application to the court for shared residence. Applying to the court should be viewed as a last resort. If you have attempted to make an amicable agreement and tried mediation and feel that court is your only option then please do not hesitate to contact the Child Law Advice Line on 08088 020 008 for further advice on how to make an application to the court.
If the matter does go to court, then the decision regarding joint residence is made in accordance with what the court feels is in the best interests of your son.
We hope this information has been useful. You may find it helpful to read through the leaflets on our website relating to parental responsibility ( http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/Leg ... nsibility/ ) and residence ( http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/Leg ... Residence/ ).
Kind regards
Children’s Legal Centre
I just wanted to tell my story as it may help you. My ex partner and me had a three year old daughter who for the first couple of years I did not see much of as I was working late nights and shift work to get a project finished for my employer. When the ex decided that our relationship went for sole residency I objected and after Cafcass had done there reports we went to court and I was awarded Joint Residency which was all I was looking for. The judge said it was unfair of my ex to take a share in the extra money I was earning and the benefits it brought us both. He also cited that during a recesssion like we were in if I had not done the hours / days for my employer they would have replaced me with someone who would have, and then I could have lost my job. Also since then my employer has been really good and allowed me to work around the times when I have to look after my daughter, so they have repaid me in a way money could not off.
I would finally say that from the research that I did, more and more fathers in your and my situation are getting Joint Residency so stick with it and it is a pity that your ex will not try to resolve. If you need any further help please send me a PM
Just to add to what Marky said, my new partner is a solicitor who has had many similar situations over her years. Five years ago she says you would have had a 1% chance but now your chance could easily by 50%, remember it is not just about the past and who brought the child up, in every situation the man is normally the bread winner and the courts are not ignorant to this. The court will be directed by Cafcass and if you have a good bond with your child they will see this, recent studies show that parents with shared residence are less likely to suffer conflict that those with sole residence. Research also shows that children living in shared residence arrangements fare significantly better on all parts of life.
Have sent you a PM with further details.
Glad to hear I could help, would be interesting to hear thru PM anything you could share further. 😆
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