Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello All,
As i have mentioned in previous posts i have trouble getting regular consistant contact with my daughter, never fully stopped but not fair on my daughter or me, as well as a few other things that as her father i should be more involved in but currently am not, so i have decided to try mediation and luckily enough the ex has fully agreed with this.
I had my initial meeting 3 months ago, went really well came out very happy and that i felt mediation could really work for us, the problem is we have still not had an actual mediation session yet! the reason for this is shortly after i had my initial meeting the ex gave birth to her son, so fair enough on the long delay, no complaints from me there. the ex has now had her initial meeting (a few weeks ago) and we had a joint session booked for last week but the ex cancelled it last minute, apparently her partners nan is ill and they had to go visit her, i can understand this there are certain things i would want the support of my parnter there for, my only issue with it is this is about the 5th time i have heard this reason as to why things/access has been cancelled last minute. i dont know the ins and outs of the nan illness situation and im not going so far as to accuse her of lying/manipulating it but this only seems to happen (from what my daughter tells me) when i have arrangements with her to see my daughter so i am starting to become a little suspicious, but will give her the benefit of the doubt.
But anyway back to the point, i still dont have a meeting even booked yet, i keep asking the mediators, have made myself available any day any time, but they are still struggling to get the ex to commit to a time! So how long should i give it before i start trying to take things further, i have not spoken to the ex about this, should that be the next step (bearing in mind that our inability to communicate well with each other is the main reason we are using mediation!)? I am fully prepare to take this as far as the courts and happy to represent myself, but only as an absolute last resort. especially as i really think mediation can work for us, and since i started the mediation process 3 months ago the ex has been perfect, we even managed to sort one or two problems out between us that had been causing problems! i think the thought of someone else seeing her unreasonable behaviour towards me has stopped it!
So i really want the whole mediation to work, but feel like even with the baby and partners ill nan taken into consideration that it is taking much longer then it should? how long did it take other people to start the mediation sessions after their initial meeting? does anyone have any advice as to how i should progress? should i be patient and wait? talk to the ex? how long should i wait for things to just happen?
Many thanks
RugbyDad
As I understand you should be ofered your FM1 if your ex has not commited to a date within 14days.
This is what I was advised.
Otherwise you are in limbo without an FM1.
Have you had your initial consultation with mediation, go over if your eligible for legal aid etc?
Regards,
Dave
Duration sounds correct, as Dave says - get your FM1 form as a priority. Once this is completed you can apply to the courts if matters are not progressing. Equally there is nothing stopping you filing and continuing with mediation. Court could be postponed or cancelled if progress is good.
Hi Rugbydad..
Have you spoken to her direct about the mediation? I only ask because you say you have sorted some problems out between you before.
Saying that she cant keep putting off the mediation, if she is failing to co-operate with the mediators, you have no choice but to go to court and you should get the Form FM1 she needs to know that you are pursuing this. Fair enough things happen, but not all the time!
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
