[Solved] How often can i actually see my son?

Hi Peter and welcome

There is no level of contact set in the law, so it's not simply a matter of the law saying something that you then have to abide by.

If you can't come to an agreement, then you only really have two options - the first is mediation to see if you can come to a mediated agreement, and if that doesn't work, then I'm afraid your only other option is to go to court to get a defined contact order. I know you don't want to go down this route if possible, but it may be your only option if you are to see your son on a regular basis.

It's worth reading yoji's guides at the top of the legal section.

Hi There,

As actd has said there is no norm where children are concerned and every case will be very different, you'll see that just from reading through post's on this site.

What I would say is work out what you would like as a minimum amount of contact and then increase this and ask for more, you will then give yourself some room to form some kind of agreement without having to loose out on what you would accept as a good level.

I guess although there is no norm as we have said a fair amount seems to be every other weekend from Friday through until Sunday, though I wouldn't look at trying to achieve this kind of contact straight off as it will seem like a huge step for your ex to accept, It may be worth trying to start talks around your son starting off staying 1 night a month and moving to more over time, so offering an arrangement that increases as both your son and ex gets used to the over night stays.

As has been said, you can try and work this out between you both or through mediation, but keep court in mind just in case you can't gain an agreement any other way.

Ensure you keep all the txt and emails that get sent between you as these may be useful later on.

Keep us posted on how things are going.

Darren

Thanks Darren for the great advice ,i phoned my ex pretty soon after reading this and explained that we needed talk about our son.I calmly told her that she needs to tell me exactly why i cannot have my son overnight as her next option was to tell a mediator why she would not let this happen.I explained that this would be the next to step to a court order that would probably get me weekends fortnightly when i had only asked her for occasional overnights so far..I asked for more than i wanted as your mail suggested saying a mid week visit would be nice too :).I asked her to digest this for a week and speak again this Friday gone,"ill text you" she said.I would only settle for a phone call .Well she phoned me yesterday and said i can have him this weekend overnight to see how it goes, .To be honest i wasnt happy with this and gently said this was progress but i will expect this to be ongoing to keep this out of court.Im hopefull these tactics may have worked but she is always backpedalling so will update you as i go.
Thanks again ,i cant beleive dads have so little rights over seeing there kids.
Cheers
Pete

Hi Peter,

It does look like there's been some progress. Hopefully things will begin to improve now that she knows you're prepared to follow a more formal route.

Just to be on the safe side I would document every telephone or verbal conversation that you have with your ex and keep a record of all texts, emails, etc. Do this until you're satisfied that matters have been resolved...

FM '70

Hi There,

That's great news at least it's a move in the right direction, Kepp it going and keep calm about everything, by staying calm when you remind her that you are prepaired to go to court if needed, it will hit home more than if said in anger or rage.

Glad you have managed to move forward.