[Solved] How will mediation help - Parental Responsibility?

From what I was told when I went to see a solicitor first time around I think to get to court you need to at least attempt mediation first. If she won't go or you get nowhere then you can go to court. I think the idea is to let the judge see that you tried everything else before court.

The more negative she is towards mediation I think the better it would look for you in court.

But let someone else with more experience reply here. Im just a Dad like you

Hi there,

I think your right you may struggle at mediation as the only sticking point is PR.

You could try mediation and the mediator would help promote open conversations between you both which may help to resolve the conflict.

The other option is to go straight to court as this is more of a legal issue rather than a difference of oppinion then the judge may just make a call.

Not sure this really helps you thought proccess though :unsure:

GTTS

Thanks guys, informative replies per usual 🙂

I have just emailed a lady who runs mediation sessions in the same building I volunteer for. A copy of the message is below, so if anybody can answer any of the queries I have asked, please do 🙂

Hi Clare,

I am writing to inquire about your medication services. I live in the ##### and I am aware that there are mediation sessions that take place in the building I volunteer in (########). I am about to start the process of going to court in order to obtain 'Parental Responsibility' and a 'Contact' order. 

I would like to know if there is still legal aid available to those in receipt of benefits for mediation. If so, do you know how I would apply for it in order to attend mediation at one of your locations, preferably Tontine House. Also, I am a little unsure how mediation will help us come to an agreement about Parental Responsibility. I already have some contact with my daughter and until recently I was allowed to have her over night. I am more than confident that mediation will assist with contact agreements, but not with Parental Responsibility.

Finally, your website states that some legal advice may be available to me. "Under the new system, there will however be the opportunity to access legal advice to support you through the mediation process". How will I know if i am eligible for this?

Kind Regards,

Also, if I print a copy of this email and her replies, in conjunction with the text message of my ex telling me to go F* myself when I mention mediation to her. I can use this as evidence in court to suggest I have tried all avenues?

Regards

Think there is a sticky at the top of this forum with a link to see if you qualify for help with mediation costs. Might be worth a look.

Good luck mate

Thanks Jonjo51, I have used the calculator and it says I am entitled to mediation legal aid. But it doesn't say how to apply for it?

Went I went to see a solicitor first thing they did was work out if I was entitled to it so I would assume they can take care of all that for you. In my town at least when you go to a solcitors they normally don't charge for the first 30 minutes. They get your details.. check about legal aid and then go through your problem.

The mediator takes care of the LA side of things, you just have to take proof of the benefits you receive.

If you can get agreement on the contact you could also talk about the PR, the mediator could explain that its your right to have PR, but it doesn't effect her rights in any way... she may back down and agree to it if she understands what it actually means. She would then just need to sign the PR agreement without it being a court issue. The contact once agreed can be written into a Consent Order and rubber stamped by the court for your peace of mind, but again this would be fairly straightforward.

I was thinking of taking advantage of the 30 mins free session with the solicitors, thanks Jonjo51.

Nannyjane, would I just say to the mediator I would like any contact agreements written into a consent order? I have just come across a website explaining PR in some detail. http://www.fnf.org.uk/law-and-information/parental-responsibility

Under the section 'I don't have parental responsibility - does it matter?' it states "Should the mother die and has appointed a guardian (generally in a will) the guardian will automatically acquire parental responsibility if the father doesn’t have parental responsibility (and if the mother has a sole residence order the appointment of her guardian will stand, whether or not the father has parental responsibility)."

Does this mean that whether or not I have parental responsibility, if the childs mother appoints a guardian. If she was to die my daughter would not live with me?

That's right, the Mediator will advise you on this...

As far as if the mother dies...If she appoints a guardian and she dies and the father doesn't have PR, the guardian will get it automatically, but if the father does have PR he would take precedence. Unless the mother has a sole Residence Order in which case her guardian will get PR whether the father has it or not. I guess in a case where the guardian was a step father that had bought the child up for a number of years, he would continue in that role.

If something like that were to happen and the father had a good level of contact with the child he would stand a very good chance of getting custody of the child anyway. This is just my opinion though!

ok, i feel a lot better than I did a couple of hours ago. Thanks everyone. I have one more query. How would my ex go about getting a sole residency order? My sister is good friends with my ex and has informed me that my ex is trying to get some order that will give me parental responsibility but with limited features? Is this the order she is trying to get? When would a court decide to grant such an order?

Courts are steering away from sole residence orders in favour of shared residency. For a residence order to be granted there usually has to be some serious safeguarding issues with the other parent.

If you are going for a Contact Order you could think about going for a shared residency with defined contact. Shared residency doesn't mean that there is an equal division of contact, it means that both parents are equally recognised and that they should work together in the best interests of the child. If you're going for your free 30 mins you could ask the solicitor to explain these options to you.