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Hi all I have just joined this site....
My ex wife walked out on me 4 1/2 years ago. Since then all she has done is stick the knife into me and twist is as deep as she could. Last july after 4 years of bitter battling the divorce and financial decision was finaly reached. At last I thought I was free of her and 2013 was going to be a good year. But in September she moved house with my children and would not let them tell me their new address (not the first time). She also moved in with a new man. Up untill xmas I had been seeing my children every other weekend. Then unlike every other xmas she told me the kids were not comming over. The following weekend, I sat the kids down and told them how much this had hurt me...next minuete there was a bang at the door and my ex is stood there accusing me of emotional abuse. Since then she has said the kids dont want to see me!!!!! I thinks this was set up.
My ex has done this before she has 4 children by 3 different fathers. The 2 eldest (not mine) both had different fathers.....she managed to get these 2 fathers totally out of their lives with no contact what so ever...so I had an idea, that this was planned right from the start for me. Over the last 4 1/2 years there has been numerous occasions when she has stopped me seeing them, for the slightest reason. Since she walked out I have never been consulted or contacted about any decisions with reference their life/upbringing.
I believe there are 2 reasons behind her actions:
1. Further control over me.
2. As she has moved in with another man, she no longer wants me in their lives or mentioned.
There is no court order in place as far as the kids are concerned.
My children are a girl 12 next month and a son 13 next month. my relationship with my daughter was good, I tried hard for her, but she is her mothers daughter, very materialistic and at times was very like her mother.
My son on the other hand was more like me, if he was over he would cuddle me several times a day or vice versa and we would always tell each other, that we loved each other. We did the same sport together which we both love, we even went to International events together. He would often moan about his mother to me (never in front of his sister, as he would know it would get back to her). She did some nasty things to him ...which I wont go in to now. Even the last time he was here (Begining of December), he asked me not to let him go back to his mothers early, and kept going on about how much he disliked her new man (she was picking him up an hour early). He had also stated to a good frien of mine in September that he wanted to live with me.
Now aparantly, my 2 children dont want to see me. My girlfriend did manage to make contact with my son just after xmas, he stated his mother was sorting out the next time he was going to see me. She told him I loved him very much, and he said he loved me too, she then gave him my mobile, he said he would text me the following day. The following day I got a text from his mum accusing me and my girlfriend of harrasment.
Guys, I could write all night on the damage this woman has done to me, and my kids.....but where do I go next, I have now left it a month as each time I try to get in contact with my son I get abusive, venomous texts accusing me of all sorts from my ex.
Any advice/experiance/help is greatly appreciated.
Cheers all
I suspect that nothing may come of it, but the first step is to try mediation - www.nfm.org.uk
If that fails, then you are looking at applying for a contact order - have a read of yoji's "guide to representing yourself" at the top of the legal eagle section as a good starting point.
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