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hello everyone
i am new to this site and need advise i have been really stressed out for past few weeks,
basically i will start from the beginning, i have been married to a foreign national for 8 years and have two kids, aged 5 and 3.
She is not a UK Citizen and her current visa had expired (marriage visa) but she had right to stay under human right law, i have been trying to make her a Uk Citizen for past couple of years but change of laws and costs have been a problem.
Right now to the reason i have come to this site two months ago we got into a heated argument swearing at each other and shouting loudly etc.. it was in morning so i then went off to work, at lunch time the police turned up at my work and arrested me stating that i had assaulted my wife at first i thought it could have been a neighbour who could have called police and assumed we was fighting rather than arguing but when i went to police station it was infact my wife who had reported me and made a statement that i slapped her and that the kids were present in the same room when the kids were upstairs sleeping when we was arguing downstairs, they could have possibly woke up because of noise but were not downstairs.
The police obviously released me because there was no evidence and when i returned home she was gone with kids at first i thought she would have gone to friends for night, and as i was tired and frustrated all day i fell asleep the next day she still wasnt back i left it till afternoon and rang her mobile which was switched off and then rang her friend who said she hasnt been there and not heard from her since two days, i called police they then told me that she had left home and was with social services and i can not be told the address, i tried contacting social services but the social worker would not get back to me this took over a week till i got in contact with and he just said she has moved out of town i should get legal advise and the reason they are involved is because of domestic abuse i was shocked that she had taken it this far with so much lies, after reading he social service statement it just shows more lies and it has gone that far now that i know she just has to carry on lying now and no coming back.
I have not seen my kids for two months now she has sent me court orders for me stay away and tha she wants full right on kids.
She is getting legal aid and can have as many court appearances i have to pay and travel different city which truly i cant afford much.
I just dont understand how i can see my kids, she is living with them in a shared house which i believe is not best condition to have kids in.
I also heard she was applying for a UK visa and this domestic abuse will help her alot to gain this, i just cant believe she has done this for a visa and for 8 years we was married and its like i didnt know the woman she is.
I need help and advice please....
Did the Police caution you?
In order to get legal aid, you have to prove domestic violence, however if the Police released you without charge or caution, she cant use this, which is maybe why she went to social services and I suspect they have put her up in a refuge. If you stay in a refuge and can get a letter and a letter from Social Services with regard to DV she can get legal aid.
Is she alleging violence against the children to Social Services? If not, I would suggest that you write to Social Services, remind them that you have PR and that you would like contact with the children. However if she is alleging violence against the children, that will not work.
Has she obtained a full Injunction against you or an interim one, and you have to date to go to court?
it would be better to have a little more information before advising you further.
The authorities can be so naive sometimes. The advice that immigrants are given as far as their rights are concerned is far superior to any that we are given....and that's not to say its wrong that they should be given good advice, just that we should expect the same level of service!
Yes you are so right NJ!
Problem is where violence is concerned and SS get involved.....they cant afford to ignore it these days 🙁
I would normally advise trying Mediation but because of the allegations of domestic violence that have been made Mediation isn't applicable.
The only avenue open to you is to apply to the court but without a contact address for her it could be difficult, unless you know who her solicitor is and then you can serve the papers to them.
hi many thanks for replies so far.
i have a court date for august it is something like cascass... ??? i dont have the papers with me at the moment but it is along them lines.
I was released without any charge by the police - no caution or anything.
I have only spoken once to the social service worker and that was when he just said get a solicitor, i did say to him there is no domestic violence and police have released me no charge he replied saying that doesnt matter only because police have released you that does not mean domestic violence didnt take place.
She has not said that i have been violent to children just to her.
She is in a refuge in a nearby city about 30 miles away, living with two other women in a 3 bed house.
After contacting her solicitor we got reply saying they are just under instructions ?
I to cant believe that an immigrant get so many right than me (even though she is my wife currently).
Also i have come to know that my child has started school wherever he is... is this allowed without my consent ?
What can i do to have my kids i cant see them being brought up in this condition, i have never felt so helpless my whole life
Where there has been allegations of violence CAFCASS will be involved. It's their role to compile a schedule 2 report for the court. CAFCASS shall report and outline any safety issues for the court To facilitate this They will interview both parties and get reports from the police and Social Services, and medical records.
As your wife is the resident parent she does have the right to place the children into a school without your consent. Because she has moved area it is practical that the child change schools.
Do you have to file a statement before the next hearing? I think you should refer to the action that the police took, that there has not been dv between you . Blooming SS....blimey, three quarters of UK kids would be under social services if that is the attitude of the whole of SS!
I don't think he has had the first hearing yet so he won't have been asked to file anything....yet.
HI
yes i have a non-molestation order against me which was placed without me having to go to court and the hearing i have for CAFCASS list is end of august, what can i do to see my children because this court date is another 2 months away and im not sure even if that would help me to see my kids?
i need to know what i have to do now to gain access to my kids days are just flying and i know she will cementing her feet to the ground properly
thanks
You could try writing to her solicitor to request interim contact. It might be worth stating that you would be prepared to agree to contact taking place at a contact centre for the time being. You could ask the SS if they can arrange for you to see your children, again tell them you would accept supervised contact just as long as you could see them. Ask too if you could speak to them over the phone, this is called indirect contact.
I would suggest writing a formal letter her solicitors, requesting contact, in a contact/supported contact centre reminding them that you do have PR.
Again, you could also write to SS and ask if they can accommodate contact taking place ...they have many different places for fathers and children to attend.
As I said Jay, a letter would be your best bet... In conjunction with a request to the SS too!
If you get nowhere with this I'm afraid you will have to wait for the hearing. If this is the case, have some suggestions for interim contact prepared for your interview with CAFCASS, and let them know that you will be asking for an interim contact order at the first hearing.
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