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Good Morning,
Firstly can I just apologise for any repeated issues in this question.. I'm new to the site and have not had the time to read through all the posts..
My wife and I were together for about 8 years, two of which were as man and wife. About 3 weeks ago I made the decision that our relationship was not working anymore, we would constantly fight in front of my Son and I did not want him being brought up in that kind of an environment so I made the toughest decision I think I will ever make in my entire life and told my wife that I think we should seperate....Admittedly, she agreed and we both knew that it was the best for Joshua who is 17 months.
It started off fine...I would see him every other day and all day saturday but now something has changed..She claims she has visited the Citizens Advice bureau and they have told her that I can't see him if she doesn't want me too and if I want to see him I need to fight for it in court..
Does anyone know if this is true? Don't get me wrong if court is what is required then I will do it but I really wanted this to be as amicable as possible...Her whole attitude has changed towards me and I now have to sit and wait for text messages from her just to know how my son is getting on...The last text I got was to tell me she was going on Holiday with Josh for a week and then she'd need a week to recover afterwards so I cant see him for 2 weeks..
I'm sure that there are Fathers everywhere that don't get to see there sons and daughters for weeks on end but I don't know how I'd handle no contact with my son for 2 weeks..
I really need some advice on what to do..Can she really stop me from seeing him just because she wants to? Does being a Father not mean anything in todays society?
Sorry, rant over, I'm just a bit of a mess at the moment..I would really appreciate any advice thats on offer
Many Thanks
Kevin
Hi Kev,
Welcome to DadTalk - you have come to the right place for advice, I'm sure the DadTalk community would be happy to give you the benefit of their experience regarding your question. I will ask our legal partners the Childrens Legal Centre to look at the thread and reply - this may take a couple of days so keep checking back.
Hang in there mate.
Gooner
Hi
I'm afraid that basically, what she has told you is correct - your son lives with her and she can control contact. If she is taking this attitude, then you are going to need to look at going to court to get a court order - the first (and if you are lucky, the last) step is mediation to see if you can come to an agreement, which the court will then put into an order.
I'm sure the childrens legal centre will give you a more detailed explanation
Ok...Well thank you for the reply...I guess i was right...Being a father means nothing anymore....
I'll have to go to court which is the last thinkg I wanted..I appreciate the advice
Thank you
I'll have to go to court which is the last thinkg I wanted.
Well, the first step is mediation - it may not need to go any further.
One question for the Childrens Legal Centre - do you have any statistics for the percentage of cases which go to mediation and then go no further? I appreciate that each case is different, but it may give some idea of how likely the process is to stop at this stage.
Dear Kevin,
We apologise for the delay in responding to your query.
Unfortunately no parent has any right to see their children, it is children that have a right to see their parents, and until a child is able to make their own decisions (usually when they are approximately a teenager, depending on their age an maturity, but absolutely at 16 years old) it will fall to whoever they live with to make these decisions on their behalf.
As you and the mother decided that your child will remain living with the mother, she is able to make these decisions.
If you are not happy with the amount of contact that you are receiving then the first step is to always try and negotiate with the mother, and mediation can be very useful for helping you reach an agreement.
For more information on mediation you can contact National Family Mediation on 01392 271610.
If mediation fails then the option that you would have for gaining contact with your child would be to make an application to court for a contact order. This is a legally binding order that states the days and times that you are to have contact with your son, and the mother may be penalised if she does not comply with this.
To apply to court you are able to instruct a solicitor or to represent yourself, whichever you prefer, however it is advisable where possible to attempt to reach an agreement between you, as this is more flexible and more amicable than court proceedings, and court should always be a last resort.
We hope that this information is useful to you, should you require any further advice please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help you.
Kind Regards
Children’s Legal Centre
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