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Hi
My Daughters mother has refused me contact with my Daughter for the last couple off week. We came to arrangement that i would have her once every 2 week from 10:30 to 5:00 on Saturday and the same on a Sunday. But for the last few weeks she has rang me the day before i was supposed to have her and told me i couldn't pick her up. I Have been to my solicites and she has refereed the case to mediation but with the changes to legal aid i'm scared that arrangement will not be made and i will not be able to pay for the court proceeding myself and wanted advise on other alternatives to legal aid.
Hi there and welcome 🙂
Mediation costs are still covered for people receiving benefits or those on a low income. You are right that Legal Aid to cover the cost of a solicitor has stopped but you could represent yourself in Court, and again if you are in receipt of benefits or on a low income you can get help with the court fees. If you arnt entitled to that it would cost £200 to apply to the court for a Contact Order. Have a look at the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section, you'll find plenty of information about how to fill out the C100 form, which is the form you would need to submit to court to apply for a contact Order. There are also a couple of stickys about representing your self in Court. There are quite a few Dads on here that have been, or are going through the court process without legal representation so you will get plenty of help and support should you need to take it that far.
No she just say i can have her because something important has come up and its the same story everytime and no real insight to whats the reason is
If you read many of the fathers stories who are being or have been prevented from seeing their children they all seem to start out very similar with contact being stopped and no real reason given other than “something has come up” or the child doesn’t want to see them.
Q. Have you and your ex recently disagreed over something?
- Typically money, changing days/times, does she know or suspect you have a new lady in tow…or do you know she has etc…etc…
my biggest problems were when my ex accused me of seeing someone (I wasn’t) and when she started seeing a new guy, she started with what you have mentioned and it was only when I threatened her with taking legal action it seemed to calm down for a few weeks until she really lost the plot and I was forced to make the decision to take it to court.
Q. How longs have you two been separated?
Q. Did you leave her for someone else or she did you for someone else?
- typically stopping contact is a bitter ex thing, the only way they know they can hurt or get back at you is by stopping you seeing the kids.
Q. Do you think she was hoping you’d go back to her?
- mine was all very nice for the first 3mths of me walking away….no one else involved….then when I was over there one evening to help bath n put to bed my little one she made a pass at me before I was leaving…..i snubbed her advances and the following week there was a prelim to the start of the last 3yrs fighting through court to see my little one.
Tread carefully when asking why she’s stopping you seeing your child/children, ask what is so important to take your child's time with you away from your child.
You have to become an expert in tact and choosing our words so as not to get her back up here….its so easy to charge in and try and force things back to what were agreed.
It may be best to start making notes of the excuses shes using, try and speak via text or email or letters as these can all be later used as evidence to support you in court should things start heading that way.
Q. Have you and your ex recently disagreed over something?
No we haven't we had bit of an disagreement when she wouldn't let me see her but the was because it was the night before i was supposed to see her
Q. How longs have you two been separated?
We separated 8 month before she was born and she left me for someone else but they split up and in the time she has has 5 new boyfiends and my daughter 1 year old in a 2 week.
Q. Do you think she was hoping you’d go back to her?
No i don't think so she made herself know that she didn't want to get back with me.
But in the last month she has started to let me see her again but as always she trys to have disagreement on what i should be doing with her and telling me and need to be supervised even thou the courts haven't placed any restrictions on me.
You can check whether you will be eligible for legal aid via the Family Mediators website, but I could not get on there today, so whether is crashed or not I don't know...however you can also check here
https://www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid
Mediation will be able to assist you with contact difficulties.
If not, you will then have to make an application to the court and depending upon your income, you may be entitled to exemption from court fees.
Ahhh I see you remembered the link I provided to Simon to check his eligibility for Legal Aid! I did flag it to the Moderators and asked them to make it a sticky so that it can be accessed easily, as I think it would be useful for our Members!
Its good that you are being given contact again hicky 🙂 ...As your daughter is only 1 the mother may be being protective because shes still a baby, lets hope she eases off as time goes on. If she stops contact again the first step is Mediation heres a link - www.nfm.org.uk
Best of luck 🙂
We are already going thought the mediation stage and she has said she doesn't want to do it.
the mediation service have sent me a foam so i don't after too buy for the court fee but will still need to buy for the soliciter.
She only let me see my daughter because her soliciter advised her that it would be in her best interest to let me see her again after refusing mediation.
C is not that bothered by her age she has babysitters looking after her ever weekend, and most Thursday ever the weekends that i have her from 11 to 5 sat and Sunday. and this is all so she can go out and get drunk with her friends and new chap. So what i find hard to get is why doesn't she just let me have her over night in stayed of paying for babysitters.
Because she can control you this way hicky!
Is the form you got from the Mediator called an FM1? You will need to hand that in to the court with the C100 form, or if you have a solicitor give it to them.
Igf you have a solicitor you can ask them to write her a letter to request that she agrees to weekend overnight stays with you instead of leaving her with babysitters. If you dont have a solicitor then you can write it and give her 7 or 14 days to respond. If you do this make sure you keep copies as proof and also when you send it get proof of postage from the post office counter.
I noticed you have posted the mothers name, it is best not to use real names or places, or any information that might link these posts to you or your case. 🙂
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- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
