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my little girl is 16months old.
i am not with the mother anymore. we have a private agreement of £30 per week maintanance, which i am fine with.
I had her every sunday until she started wanting me to have her more and more. swapping days ect when i have work. She has now told me i cannot see my daughter and need to see a solicitor for access so we can get regular days/times sorted out.
I think this is the best idea as then she blame me for not turning up ect..
would this cost alot? can a solicitor send her a letter with times and days i can have her?
Its feels like its such a mess and i cant see how or what i can do next.
sorry for the moan, just want to do whats best by my daughter.
Hi and welcome to the site.
I think a formal agreement is always good, though there are few ways you can go about getting one set up.
If you are able to get your ex to agree to mediation then this would be the best as you are able to talk through what you want in a safe environment with impartial person present.
I would try not to get into solicitors if you can help it as this will be an expensive route and will take a long time.
If you are not able to get mediation to resolve then there is a court contact order use this as a last resort really as it will take away some of your control of the situation, though if you have to go down this route you can represent yourself to keep cost down, Yoji has posted a very good how too post in the legal section.
I would try talking to your ex and see if you can arrange something without all the issues of court.
hello darren thankyou for the reply.
can i just ask could i get to a mediation? I have PR, but we were never married? does that count agasint me?
I have tried talking see just doesnt not listen. She tells me she would agree to access if i get a written document stating that. she seems to think a solicitor can write her a letter with times and dates of when i can see my daughter and if i break these rules she can deny access.
Hi ant83,
No, not being married won't count against you.
She is clearly acting very unreasonably. However, generally speaking here. What are her current proposals for your contact?
Has her Solicitor written to you yet?
Note: Just because she has a Solicitor does not mean you yourself cannot respond to these letters. If they do send something that you don't understand. Post on here, theres a lot of experience.
It would be worth your while to start keeping a diary, copying in any texts or emails you write for any future reference. Also with regards to maintenance... is this being paid in cash?
Hi yoji. She has said once week. Then changes it to a few hours a day. I just want stability for my daughter and gettin it done officially so to speak makes sure I can always have access.
She has not got a solicitor as yet. She wants me to get one then get a contract written up. She doses not understand the process it seems to me.
My maintanence is paid via standing order every Thursday so there is proof.
Like you say she is being unreasonable when all I want is to see my daughter. It really frustrates me.
Hi ant,
OK so from this, you don't need a Solicitor to draw up a contract between yourselves.
Here might be a sample contract that you use:
CONTACT AGREEMENT between
[YOUR NAME] and [YOUR EX'S NAME] concerning
CHILDS NAME DOB:--/--/20--]
The abovenamed are Parents of CHILD and we agree that Contact should be as follows:
CHILD shall reside with [YOUR EX] (The Mother) and [YOUR NAME] (The Father) shall have Contact on:
• (Your main times of Contact will go here i.e. Every Friday from 5pm until Saturday at 6pm plus [DAYS/EVENINGS IN WEEK]
• (Birthday and Christmas, usually done as one year you will get Birthday and your ex Christmas, and vice versa for the following year)
• (Occasions: a good line to use is: Both parties agree that Occasions relative to each party shall be duly considered for example: Your birthday or Fathers day)
• Phone contact will occur on (i always say go for at least a couple of days a week, even when young, this helps to support (hate the term) indirect contact)
• Any additional time as can reasonably be agreed between the parties (<-- always worth putting that one is as 9/10 it will appear in a Court Contact Order should one be needed)
Both parties agree that this Contact Agreement will stand and that should the above fail to be agreed and followed, we are aware that further action may be needed through The Courts Local to the Child.
Both parties are in agreement that this Contract will need to be reviewed regularly/yearly/every X years so as to ensure the best needs for CHILDS FULL NAME are being met
This agreement is dated: --/--/2012
Both of you sign it, and both of you have a copy.
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