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Hi all,
There have been a few posts regards CAFCAS but Im hoping to get some advice relevant to me or be pointed to somewhere. I hope that you do not mind.
My situation is that my partner left me the last week of March and took our 2 young children 3 and 6.
She has had 2 strokes and has physical and cognative impairment and was a long time cannabis user. She stopped in January after I told her I had enough of her doing it.
Suffers halucinations as a result of the stroke and has told me that she is invincible. She has also been agressive and violent towards me in the past. I did not report this as I just wanted us to be "normal".
She restricted my access to the children as it meant she would recieve less money from me and has a history of not taking medication and missing doctors appointments and the children missing theyre when I dont know about them.
I took her to court last week using leave to abridge service as I am concerned for the childrens welfare, she has fallen down the stairs since moving out.
She took the children from school early the day the order was served and told them that I was working so could not collect them and has said that I cannot go on the family holiday in May that I paid for. Her mother is going along too.
The result of the court case is that there will be a social work interview with me and CAFCAS are to be involved as she has made counter allegations regards domestic violence, dont know what has been said, and it seems she made a "serious allegation" last year to a social worker. No one spoke to me as there has been no violence from me towards her.
My questions are:
1. What is likley to happen with social work, will it be a call or a visit?
2. What should I be doing to prepare for CAFCAS and the next court visit. End of May?
3. If she made an allegation of domestic violence should it not have been investigated and what should/can I do about that?
4. Can she keep blaming me for her not letting the children see me and for me not going on holiday.? (I fear this is detrimental to the relationship between me and the children)
5. Should I be honest with the children and tell them that Mummy is not letting Daddy spend time with them?
Regards and Thanks,
Dave
Not sure about the social services - I would say it's more likely to be a visit than a phone call.
With regards to cafcass, make notes of everything you want to say to them - bullet points, so that you don't miss anything, they won't have a problem with you referring to this. If you have any supporting documentation, have this ready for them to take away. Don't put your ex down aside any statements of fact - cafcass want you to be positive with regards to your children rather than negative towards your ex.
Your ex shouldn't be blaming you for anything to the children, but likewise, don't tell the children that it's your ex that's preventing your from seeing them, or at the very least, you could say that you'd like to see them more if their mum doesn't mind, and leave it at that.
I agree with actd....just share your worries/concerns with the Social Worker and CAFCASS. From what you have said about your ex's medical history I think this should be discussed with them, but try and do this in a concerned way rather than being judgemental. They will have access to her medical records for the benefit of their report for the court.
As far as the allegations of DV are concerned all you can do is tell them the truth. They should disregard it as its unsubstantiated but you never know for sure, sometimes they will err on the side of caution regardless as whether there is proof or not.
The cannabis use could also be mentioned and you could even request that she be drug tested at the next hearing.
If you need to write a Position Statement you will find information about that on Yoji's guide to representing yourself in court that in a sticky at the top of the Legal Eagle section.
Thanks to you both....heading Yoji's way for the position statement guidance.
Regards,
Dave
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