[Solved] In Court Tomorrow

I am not very well up on aspects of court etc but I just wanted to wish you luck for tomorrow. I would say go along and get something official by the judge rather than withdrawing your application.

Best of luck and let us know how you get on.

Thanks cuddles, I definately want something official i am just worried that the judge would say i need to apply again with another c100 as i have already informed cafcass my intentions of withdrawing.

If i carry on, I get threats that i will never see my son again, or i am only entitled to 2hrs contact a week. Hence the reasons for me withdrawing.

I had my son nearly everyday, now it's 3 days a week for 5 or 6 hrs which is fine If i thought she would stick to it although i would rather have him more. Me and my son have a really close bond, he is under 2 but cry's everytime i take him back.

I run my own business which is impossible without defined days and times for contact. Everytime i drop him of i ask when i can see him again. I will text you when you can see him again is the reply, so its pretty hard to plan anything as it will need to be cancelled if it clashes with my unknown contact times.

I pay her more than 20% of my income but no matter what my ex gets it will never be enough.

Hi there 🙂

I think as you've been messed around and your ex has reneged on contact arrangements in the past, you are right to get it defined in a Contact Order and as you havent cancelled the first hearing then I dont think you would have to re-apply.

When you get to court in the morning have a chat with the CAFCASS officer before going into court, apologise for twoing and froing and explain your reasons for changing your mind about withdrawing your application. Its all about feeling secure for your son as well as for you. You need to be able to settle into defined contact without the worry playing on the back of your mind the whole time.

You dont need a solicitor, as a father you can express your feelings far more eloquently than most solicitors....just be truthful and speak from the heart. It would be better if you have a timetable of contact prepared. It might be advisable to take on board that the judge might order contact that is shorter than you had in mind, be prepared for that because of the age of your son...I think what I'm saying is be flexible. If the judge does this ask for the time to be increased over a period of 6-12months to what you would like. Ask for extra time in the summer and alternate birthdays and christmas. As you dont have him overnight think about asking for that to be gradually incorporrated as he ghets older.

Of course, as its the first hearing there will be an attempt for the two of you to reach agreement before going into court. Her solicitors will probably want to talk to you, but dont allow them to intimidate you or talk you into anything you're not happy with, and if you dont like the way the meeting is going just excuse yourself politely and call a halt to it. CAFCASS may well ask you both to join them and talk about contact, if you can come to an arrangement then this will be put before the judge and written into a Consent Order. If you cant reach agreement it will go before the judge. At this point there will be discussion about Mediation I would think, the judge may order you to attend Mediation and touch briefly on the issues. Then hopefully Interim contact will be put in place which will start straight away. Then without any safeguarding or risk issues the second hearing will be where a Contact Order will be decided.

This is still what might happen, as I've said many times, the judge is all powerful and every judge is different with widely differing views. What happens is only as good or as bad as the judge on the day, so lets hope you get a good one....they are generally up to scratch so dont worry too much.

Best of luck and please do come back tomorrow and let us know how you got on 🙂

Hi nannyjane,

I was hoping you would offer advice, thankyou, i will send you a copy of what i have prepared for tomorrow to see what you think.

How did court go?

Regards,

Dave

Hi,

I think it went ok.

Got to court nice and early but never had the oportunity to speak to cafcass before i was called in.

The judge basically gave us both a chance to speak offered some suggestions to my ex then told us to leave the room to think about it, (she had a mckenzies friend who is related to her and is a qualified solicitor so that kind of threw me.

When we returned the judge pretty much gave me what i wanted apart from overnights but told my ex that this should be considered in the near furure and we should be able to sort it between ourselfs without returning to court.

The bit i dont understand is after telling ,me and my ex what hrs and days he suggested i could have my son which my ex reluctently just agreed with, he called it the final order? not a contact order.

So im actually not sure what he meant by final order? I will just have to see how it goes and hope she sticks to it. I am happy atleast something is now down in writing if nothing else.

I am due to pick him up tommorow so we will see.

Does anybody know what he the judge meant by final order? will the court send me anything in writing to say what was agreed?

Pretty happy that it was all sorted at the first hearing which doesn't seem to happen to often. Although i am pretty sure i will have to return at some stage to get overnight contacts.

Thanks for all the advice that was offered, 🙂

Thats good news and at least agreement was reached at the first hearing and you are happy with what you were granted, thats a result in my book! 😉

A final order just means the matter has been closed....it will still be written into a Contact Order and if you didnt receive it at court one will be sent to you.

Well done paulio3 and thanks for coming back and sharing your experience at court with us....its really helpful to other members and when its a good result it gives others some hope! 🙂

That is excellent news, well done. Can I ask what contact you went into court asking for? We are due in court next week and are unsure what would be considered reasonable.

Hi cuddles,

I asked for 3 days a week one of the days for 8hrs and the other 2 days 5hrs. I also asked for 1 over night a month to increase as my son grew older, i didn't expect to get the overnight due to my sons age, but at one point i think the judge nearly agreed to overnights, untill my ex gave a speach about how unsettled he is at such a young age. Were he then just advised her to let me have overnight stays in the near future as he didn't want me to have to return to court asking for them.

I did have irregular contact normally at short notice before the hearing, so i just wanted it all to be on set days every week so i can plan my work around my son. Which the judge agreed with. She now needs to give me a weeks notice before any changes and the judge told her to try and stick to the set days.

The judge seems pretty fair but i suppose they could all be different. I can't imagine what a barrister could have done for me that i couldn't do myself. I was offered a barristers servicesfor £300 +vat 😮 I would have paid for a barrister if i had not found this site :cheer:

Should i have gone somewhere within the court to collect the contact order, oop's. If i have not recieved something in a week or so i will chase it up.

Was the judge male of female? I got a "theory" that male judges are fairer....not rocket science that though!! 😆

The judge was a man. He was pretty fair although my ex might not agree.

Ah ha! Thought so!!!

My son had a male judge sitting for his custody case, and not only did he request that the whole case be listed with him (we had 3 hearings altogether) he was so thorough and fair, and had complete control over the proceedings from start to finish. He adjourned several times to phone Social Workers personally to get more information and he awarded my son Residency, which if you read my story was the right thing to do.

The case my son is currently pursuing over varying the Contact Order, the first hearing in March was presided over by a female judge....she was awful, ignored safeguarding issues that were raised by CAFCASS, didnt care that the mother had been lying of that she had a cannabis farm in her house, raided by police, or that her boyfriend had just got out of prison for domestic violence and arson. Took no notice of a Social Service investigation because of physical abuse to her other child of 9yrs.... and the only time she got annoyed was when my son slipped up and said "my son" instead of "our son"...