[Solved] in law problems

So….your Children’s Grandparents want to see more of their Grandchildren and they have been doing so with your agreement via a contact centre for 18mths or so and your position is that they shouldn’t?

Just playing the Devil’s Advocate here so please don’t take offence….

Are there any safeguarding issues that should prevent the sort of contact they are asking for? Or is it that you and your wife have fallen out with them and don’t like what they say.

Basically what I’m saying here is that if there are no safeguarding concerns then you’re preventing your Children having a relationship with their grandparents because you can?

Due to the actions of my ex I have first-hand experience of a contact centre, I didn’t like it for my child or me, I personally thought it was too un-natural an environment for a child and his parent to be in. there was no reason my son or me should have been in contact centre for the 3mths we were….no safe guarding issues, CAFCASS and courts very happy with me being in direct contact with my son as so they should! But on the demands of my ex to appease her contact centre was used – only to avoid handover issues I had with the ex.
The other parents of the contact centre were there for things like drug abuse, domestic violence and other social issues. There was only one other father there in the same boat as I was.

The other kids would be trying to take toys off my son, they’d be wanting to get involved in our time and paintings/model building etc… all making it very uncomfortable for me and my little one (4yr old at the time). So I can certainly sympathise with your Children’s Grandparents being stuck under contact centre restrictions for 18mths, it must be frustrating for them if they feel they’ve done nothing to deserve this other than fall out with you and their daughter.

The way I see it I’d guess they are asking to see the Children away from the contact place, out in a more relaxed and normal setting…e.g. their home, parks, play zones, petting zoo’s etc…

If there are no safe guarding issues for the Children why should they not be allowed to see their Grandchildren away from a contact centre in more normal casual settings for Grandparents and Grandchildren?

I really don’t mean any offence, just trying to put another point of view out there.

If there are safe guarding issues for the Children then there should certainly be restrictions in place.

hi no offence taken all views welcomed,
father in law has harrassed us in street included when the mrs was 7 months pregnant. threats of violence etc. when our eldest was 4 days old f in law phoned mrs shouting swearing etc cos mrs unwell and had to re schedule a visit. Mother i law chased after car shouting swearing because missis had to work on day of family function. openly bad mouth us which if our children in presence could be confusing and possibly distressing. Granted these are all anecdotal examples but still unpleasant. Sorry for your situation, no two situations are the same good luck with your own issue

Would sitting down with them in mediation help? It may get both parties views on the table and then with a mediator give you a starting point on working out what is best way to approach it.
Has any of the contact at contact centre been negative for the children?

From their behaviour, I think I'd be reluctant to let them have additional contact as well, otherwise I'd agree totally with Dad-i-dad (I have the benefit of that extra bit of information now :whistle: )

I'll ask the CCLC if they can drop in and comment - there is nothing to stop you self representing, and the court fee would be paid by your in-laws as they are the ones who would have to apply to court for an order, and I'm not even sure they'd be able to do so if both you and your wife don't want to increase contact, but I'll let the CCLC clarify this anyway.

Dear mg1984

Thank you for your e-mail.

Grandparents do not have any rights to have contact with their grandchildren. Therefore, if you do not feel it is appropriate for your children to have contact with their Grandparents you do not have to allow contact to take place.

However please note that if you do not allow contact to take place, or the Grandparents do not agree to the terms of contact that you put forward they can apply to the Court for a Contact Order. In order to make this application the Grandparents would need permission from the Court. This is called leave. This basically means that the Grandparents would need to show the Court that it is in the children's best interest for an application for a Contact Order to be made. If successful, the Grandparents could then put in an application for a Contact Order.

You can represent yourself in any Court proceedings that may be applied for. The Courts will always have the children's welfare as their paramount consideration when deciding whether to make a Contact Order and will therefore follow the welfare checklist which is:

a)The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in light of his age and understanding);
b) His physical, emotional and / or educational needs;
c) The likely effect on him of any change in his circumstances;
d) His age, [censored], background and any characteristics of his, which the court considers relevant;
e) Any harm which he has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
f) How capable each of his parents and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant, is of meeting his needs;
g) The range of powers available to the court under the Children Act 1989 in the proceedings in question

Should you require any further information please do not hesitate to contact us via our freephone advice line on 0808 8020 008 open Monday to Friday 8am to 8pm.

Yours sincerely

CORAM CHILDREN'S LEGAL CENTRE

thanks to all for your varying views all noted and taken on board. Especially grateful to childrens legal centre, I have made a note of phone no. and may call at some point.

I agree with actd and Dad I d and if this behaviour is going on in front of the children, the courts wont look well on that if they do make an application , they could alienate the children! Take a look at mediation first.