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Hello all,
I have a rough year coming up concerning my child,
and was hoping maybe someone with experience could help answer a few niggling questions for me,
before i take the plunge and see a solicitor for legal counsel.
My ex and i seperated when our child was 6 months old,
neither of us were happy or in love, and decided to call it a day.
However, due to my work patterns, (4 on, 4 off, 6am to 6pm 12 hour shifts)
And her desire to go out on weekends, (her parents wouldnt babysit if that was the case),
I have been having my son 4 days,3 nights, of every 8,
Until last year where we agreed to reduce it to 3 days, two nights.
she stated earlier in the year that she wants me to only see him every other weekend come March,
so as to get him ready for school in September,
And she has told me that if i wish to have him i must get a new job, where i have every other weekend free.
Now, i have never kicked up a stink concerning who the resident parent should be,
But firmly believe we are equal in our rights,
She didnt ask me about what school he should go to, she just chose one,
so i am unsure she knows anything about Father's rights at all.
If i ever have the audacity to disagree to a desicion she has made she will go completely overboard and jump on the
"Lets take it to court and see who wins, because it will be me" bandwagon.
My son absolutely loves staying with myself and my girlfriend, his face lights up when he sees me,
And he hates going home, telling me "I don't love mummy", bursting into tears when he sees her, saying he wants to stay with me, and has to be dragged out of my arms by her on numerous occasions.
Alas, he is 4 in April, so i am not naive enough to think that his opinion will matter much to the courts,
I just really don't want to lose my time with him.
Whoops, i rambled on a bit, apologies.
My question is; Can she tell me to get a new job or i won't have him?
Can she take the time away from me even though we have been doing it for three years?
My son has been going to nursery for 2 years now and coming to me doesnt affect him badly,
Do i have any hope of keeping my time, do you think? :unsure:
I hope i have been clear enough, any questions, just ask ^_^
Drexen
you have a very difficult situation problems is court favour stability and routine. i don't think your work pattern will favour regular contact as due to your current work commitments you would struggle to set the same day every week/ Fortnight/mouth as every week would change. Plus they need to allow quility time to mum as well ie non school days.
Do you live close by to your son and his school
Thankyou for the reply,
I do live nearby yes, his mum lives a couple of villages over,
And she intends him to go to school there.
It does feel pretty hopeless, but i have read alot of people's stories on hear and feel bad for complaining,
Alot of fathers have it worse than I.
It's just going to break my heart.
Hi, my son works the same shift pattern as you and sorting out two days a month(all he gets) its a night mare as days put forward , shes busy , and he is facing the same problem in september, as it will be saturdays only and some months you dont even get a weekend off Getting a job is hard enough, her request is silly and unreasonable . Yes children like routine. I cant see why you can not continue with your partners help . can your partner take and pick up from school when you cant. . If you had him full time you would have to arrange child care so its no different . I do think when the children go to school it changes and alt weekends and maybe one night in the week, but thats fine if you work mon-fri 9-5
I don't think routine necessarily means being based around a 7 day week, I would see it that it means that your son knows when he will see you and that you'll be there when it's your time with him - a 4 day on 4 day off pattern allows for planning ahead so I think it's perfectly reasonably to continue on this basis (I believe firemen work the same sort of shift pattern as you are working) and I don't see that a court would agree, or even hint that you should change your work pattern unless it's something that could easily be done without having to learn a new set of skills, and that the work was readily available. The courts are also generally reluctant to reduce the amount of contact you have had unless there is a good reason to do so, which doesn't sound like the case here.
Thank you ever so much for the replies, it really helps to hear other's opinions, good and bad.
I have been stressing about this for a few months now and it is a relief to get these worries off my chest.
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