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I HAD A FIRST HEARING ON 10 SEPTEMBER AND JUST WONDERD WEATHER MY INTERIM CONTACT WAS FAIR ?
I WENT TO COURT, MY WIFE WAS THEIR AND DID NOT HAVE LEGAL AID, HER SOLICITOR APPLIED 3 MONTHS AGO, SO SHE WAS THEIR ON HER OWN, SO WAS I, I AM ACTING FOR MYSELF.
SHE DID NOT WANT NAGOTIATION OR EVEN LOOK AT ME ( I DO NOT BLAME HER, AS SHE HAD NO SOLICITOR )
BUT AT THE SAME TIME I HAVE NOT SEEN OUR CHILDREN FOR 4 MONTHS, AND I WAS THEIR FOR CONTACT AND I HAD NO IDEA SHE HAD NO SOLICITOR, UNTIL I WENT INTO COURT.
WHEN IN COURT THE JUDGE SAID THIS IS A FIRST HEARING AND NO CONTACT ORDERS WILL BE MADE ( THIS IS A DIRECTIONS HEARING ) UNLESS UNLESS CONTACT CAN AGREED BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU, AND YOUR WIFE DOES NOT HAVE A SOLICITOR, THEN THE JUDGE SAID BECOUSE CAFCASS HAVE RECOMENDED A SECTION 7 REPORT THE COURT WILL ORDER THAT THIS IS DONE SO YOU NEED TO WAIT.
I SAID YOUR HONOUR I KNOW A SECTION 7 REPORT WILL BE DONE AND I AGREE, BUT I AM HERE FOR CONTACT, THE JUDGE SAID BUT YOU HAVE NOT AGREED WITH YOUR WIFE AND I CAN ONLY MAKE A ORDER ONLY IF YOU CAN AGREE TOGETHER WITH YOUR WIFE AT THIS FIEST HEARING, AND THIS HAS NOT HAPPEND AS IT ?
I SAID YOUR HONOUR I CAN NOT AGREE IF MY WIFE WILL NOT TALK TO ME, CAN YOU ASK HER IF I CAN HAVE CONTACT ? SO THE JUDGE SAID, I YES I WILL ASK HER, BUT IT WILL BE IN A CONTACT CENTRE AND IT WILL BE SUPERVISED CONTACT UNTIL THE S7 REPORT IS DONE, I WILL ASK HER FOR 2 HOURS A WEEK, I THOUGHT WHO IS THE JUDGE HERE YOU ARE MY WIFE ?
SO THE JUDGE ASKED MY WIFE IF SHE WOULD AGREE ( MY WIFE IS THAI SHE DOES SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH BUT SHE DID HAVE A INTERPRITOR )
SO MY WIFE SAID OK. AND THE JUDGE SAID I WILL MAKE A ORDER AND YOU WILL GET CONTACT IT WILL BE IN A CONTACT CENTRE AND IT WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOUR WIFE'S LEGAL AID IS GRANTED, BECOUSE IT IS A COURT ORDER YOUR WIFES SOLICITOR NEEDS TO CONFIRM IT.
I FELT TERRIBLE, I AM BEING HONEST TO ALL MEMBERS OF FNF, I HAVE HAVE NEVER HURT MY CHILDREN, SO WHY DO I NEED TO FIGHT AND BEG TO SEE MY CHILDREN
I KNOW THE COURT NEED TO DO REPORTS BUT IT IS HARD FOR GOOD PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND THIS WHEN IT HAPPPENS TO THEM.
I DID SAY TO THE JUDGE NOT HAVING CONTACT WITH THE CHILDREN MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I AM DEAD AND IT HURTS LIKE [censored], BUT THE JUDGE DID NOT SEEM TO CARE ABOUT MY FEELINGS.
IF I DID NOT ASK THE JUDGE TO ASK MY WIFE THEN I WOULD HAVE NO CONTACT AT ALL UNTIL THE REPORTS WHERE DONE.
DO MEMBERS KNOW OF OR ANY FRIENDS WHO GOT INTERIM CONCACT ?
AND WHAT HAPPENS ?
HOW LONG DID IT LAST FOR ?
WHAT HAPPEND WHEN YOU DID GET MORE CONTACT ?
I HAVE NOT HAD CONTACT SINCE 20 MAY, BEFORE THIS WE LIVED TOGETHER FOR 10 YEARS, BEFORE MY WIFE LEFT AND TOOK THE CHILDREN, CHILDREN ARE 5 AND 7 YEARS AND I HAVE PERENTAL RESPONABILLITY
THANKS
Hi there,
I've just looked back at your previous posts, I noticed that I advised you strongly to write to the court to tell them that you would be requesting an interim contact order, that was six weeks ago, did you do that? ...if not it could be the reason that the judge would not agree to it. If interim contact is sought it should be requested on the C100 or if not then by letter to the court as soon as possible after the application has been made.
There is no set format, some dads get interim contact and some don't. My son is going through court at the moment, he has custody and had to stop contact with the mother because of serious risks. A section 7 report was ordered at the first hearing but she was also granted interim contact at the first hearing supervised at her mothers house....as I say, there is no hard and fast rule.
It's best to comply with everything, the judge is being cautious because a welfare report has been ordered and he wants to see the report before moving forward. It's hoped that if contact goes smoothly between now and the next time you are in court, and the report is ok, he will move it from a contact centre to unsupervised.
Judges have only one interest and that is the children, it doesn't matter how the parent feels or the impact it has and they don't concern themselves with this. It's far better not to get too emotional in front of them, that's not to say you can't express your love for your child, but they do expect a certain amount of control.
I know how hard this is for you , court is so draining emotionally and physically, we felt drained for a few days afterwards. Just be kind to yourself.
I did get 2 hours a week but my wife had to agree but why did she neeed to agree to s contact centre ?
eve if i did include interim contact on th c100 she would still need to agree
but at least the judge accepted my cannabis and alcohol test that i had done even before the court ordered them.
i told the judge i hsd them done becouse cafcass had advised them in the s2 letter, he said ok thats two concerns out of the way.
but the court needs to do a s7 report and the judge said the court cant just take your word the you are good or bad,
out side the court i told the CAFCASS person if i am not going to be belived when i tell the truth i might as well tell a pack of lies in the future i cant go to court every time my wfe sey bad thing about me.
Every judge has their own way and interpretation, it's not true that the judge will only agree if the the mother agrees...they are quite able to make decisions whether the parties involved agree or not....he chose to do it this way on the day.
I know but it is hard when I have never never hurt the children.
my wife and i just did not get on.
but everybody seems to think becouse she left and took the children it is my fault.
the judge at the hearing said to me ,the court is not saying you are a bad person but the court need to be cautious
and the court can not just take your word for it.
so it seems somebody could say i am a nutter then i need to prove i am not.
i hear the word in the childs best interests but mine and the childs are one of the same becouse i am a careing and protective dad.
i know they need to do reports it just feels terrible becouse their are lots of people out their that are not looking after their children and nobody cares.
I know it hard and it's unfair...try not to take any notice of people that are judging you harshly. Unfortunately, it's entirely the judges call and they've decided on supervised contact, it's harsh and it doesn't take into account your close relationship with your childen but you will have to comply, jump through all the hoops and hopefully you will get the contact you should have had at the beginning.
Unlike in criminal proceedings where you are innocent until proven guilty, in the family courts allegations are enough to set these harsh practices in motion. Even though a contact centre is not ideal it will at least give you an opportunity to see your children and spend a little time with them. Once you go back to court and they see you have complied with their wishes and the report is ok, then they should agree to moving contact forward to unsupervised contact.
It might be a good idea for you to,attend a Families Need Fathers meeting, you will get the chance to talk about your situation and get help and support for the next hearing. Here's a link to the web page where you can find details of a meeting nearest to where you live.
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support/local-branch-meetings
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