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Hi,
I have been with my partner now for 6 months (we have known each other as friends for over 5 years). He has 4 children with his ex wife of 10 years (they divorced over 5yrs ago) and a 2yr old girl with his ex gf. They were together for around 6mths. After they split up he slept with her again and thats when she got pregnant. Whilst his ex wife is generally not a problem his ex gf really is.
She is refusing point blank to allow me to meet his little girl. I have already met his other 4 children and we get on really well. They are currently going through mediation as she will not allow him to introduce his daughter to his other children and to sort out overnight access (which he did have but she stopped a few months ago). Mediation is not going well and both the mediator and us think that it will end up in court as she is not being at all reasonable (It took over an hour for her to agree to him having her for 2 hrs on xmas day on his own, rather than around her house).
He is on the birth cert so has parental rights. We have been told that whilst she is in his care he can take her wherever he pleases and introduce her to whoever he wishes to. However, out of respect he told her, at mediation, that I would be meeting her this sunday. She blew up and said that its not going to happen. She says that if he goes against her wishes that she will stop him having access to his daughter.
We talked about this and decided that I would meet her anyway on Sunday, as he has the right to introduce her to whomever he pleases. However, now I am panicing that if she finds out she will stop access and this is the last thing I want to happen. It would kill him if he didn't see her, especially with Xmas being so close.
Where does he stand legally? I really want to meet her and start forging a relationship with her like I have his other children but I don't want this to blow up in our faces.
I understand you may say its only been 6mths, however we have known each other for years and are very much committed to each other.
Thank you in advance for any help.
Hi and welcome
No-one is going to say it's only been 6 months, totally irrelevant - you sound like you are both committed to each other and the children.
To be honest, I don't think you necessarily need advice simply because you seem to have all the facts correct already.
It seems to me that the ex-gf is jealous, or bitter and the only way she can get at your partner is by controlling contact. You basically have two choices - either allow her to continue to control contact and your partner continues contact under the present circumstances (and probably becoming more restrictive since she will see it as a victory for her), or, since mediation is not working, to go to court and have contact put on a legal footing, in which case, unless a judge agrees that contact should be restricted, means that your partner can introduce you without the ex being able to prevent it (legally anyway). I guess, you can tell which way I think you should be going.
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