[Solved] Is it worth it?

If he’s ill a lot then that needs mentioning to the courts……if he’s ill a lot then I’d be questioning his living environment….i.e. have a dig at her capabilities as a parent if he’s always ill but do it in court!
The courts will soon see she’s just preventing contact! If he’s Ill a lot then speak with social services and get them to go see why your child is always ill!! That’ll put the cat amongst the pigeons!

Send all docs by recorded delivery….they can’t dispute that!

Your child is worth every ounce of pain you are going through….you shouldn’t have to though!
you may not feel it but the times you do see him will confirm it…like when he’s sat reading or playing with you, smiling with you, laughing and giggling at you and when you get the cuddle and “I love you daddy”! it melts even the hardest stone heart!

Its [censored] mate…..i know! Been fighting forever myself!...there are plenty of us out here going through the same mate!

The false allegations/lies made by the ex are all designed to make me give up…intimidation to make me give up…all manner of the most hurtful things designed just to keep control over you and your son.
I have had so much sh*te aimed at me that at the lowest point I saw no way to turn without more sh*te built up around me…
Contact ordered…….she breaks it……take her back to court….court tell her to behave…..she breaks it again…..told to behave with warning from court…..still refuses to obey the courts! 2,1/2yrs I’ve been fighting through courts now!
She’s finally showing signs of the hole filling in behind her as she’s digging! She’s refused to turn up to the last two court hearings…….i’ve now applied for Enforcement of court orders!! Judge suggested that beinig the only way the courts could do anything more!
So £200 more spent….and my mind-set is now “lets see her escape this one”…….if she does then its just another £90 to Enforce the enforcement order [censored]!!! But then that should be the final straw for the courts!
A change of residence is a possible penalty for breaking this one so I’m told…….will she finally let me have continuous contact with my child? Who knows! But if she doesn’t then its going to get easier to taker her back to court!

what can you do?…..find a bit of proof that she’s a liar and use it to fight her…..focus on the long term! She’ll dig herself in to a hole she can’t escape from eventually! The liars always do….they can’t keep it up forever and when they fall and they will you’ll be there to catch your son and have the time you deserve.

There are days I don’t believe it myself…..but there are more days now where I feel there is light in the tunnel and it’s not the 2:15 to kings cross anymore!

chin up and fight on matey! your son needs you in his life.....even if your ex says he doesn't the courts and everyone else says he does!!!!

Lovely reply and you seem a dedicated dad as i am. But we're simply not allowed to be the dads we want. Some much torture to see our kids 3 hours everyother week whilst someone watches you and takes notes. Prisoner's are treated with more subtly.

And theres your point, we get somewhere and its like 2 steps forward and 1 step back, the ex's seem to get so much enjoyment over the power they hold and the solicitors play to it. I mean who sends a letter reponse to an urgent email request to acknowledge your email when it needs a response/resolvment within a day. Its like the solicitors get off on it too! i for one am begining to care less about them, her games and sadly i am releived when contact is cancelled for whatever reason. Me and my son have a great time together but it is simply not worth the mental torture, the money, expenses and they hopes we get that are dashed constantly. Beleive me im not a quiter but a realist, i think we convince ourselves we must fight to proove we are great dads.

DAVEYT,

wow - you sound as if you have had a really tough time. I can't imagine how frustrated you must feel - it sounds as if you feel the whole system is weighted against you. Don't give up.

By law access is actually the right of the child (not the parent) so you are fighting for your son's right to access to both his parents. If you are finding the cost of lawyers prohibitive then you could consider representing yourself in court - a lot of dads on here have done it and it's not a daunting as it first might appear. Check out this thread for details.

is it worth it ? Only you can really answer that question but I think you may have when you said :

me and my son have a great time together

How old is your son ?

We can't tell you what to do, but you obviously care deeply about him because you have been battling to see him so far.

How are you feeling today ?

Gooner

Hi Davey, I so know where you are coming from. My son and all the family are just wanting to have contact. In one way we get restricted contact and made to feel grateful for this glimpse into my GD life . It so shouldnt be like this and I can understand how you feel, as only today Im thinking I dont want this stress in my life, but if I give up my son is out there on his own so we will continue to stand by his side.
On the other foot I have been the the 10 year old daughter whos mother made it very difficult for my dad to see us/me, he was a horrid husband , he drank and was abusive to my mum, and we/I paid the price , He left and in my eyes dissapeared. Many years later I traced him and we had 10 years together before cancer took his life. so from the heart dont give up and if you ever need to rant pm me ..

If you need to rant feel free to rant on the forum - we all need to let off steam, from time to time, and if offloading here helps then go for it. 8)

so why did it have to go to court in the first place. couldnt you have sorted something out with the mother from the day you split up

i'd suggest try looking at things objectively for a change instead of with blinkers on.
Have a read of the stories some of of us dads here fighting to see our kids without the ex's constant [censored].........with the threats and false accusations that many of us here can defend ourselves against with substantial proof....but takes so long to get that proof to be heard because of the bitter ex's games

now for me.......i wish sometimes i'd done just one of the things my ex tried to claim that i'd been to her.......i could then accept her actions for the last 2yrs!

see unfortunately there are as many liars out there intent on hurting the guy who left them.......as there are who are being hurt by the guys and have to leave to protect themselves.

those for me are the ones being denied/delayed help because the courts are so full of liars just trying to get back at the kids fathers for any and all reasons.

maybe