[Solved] Is my ex being unreasonable and what can i do ?

Firstly, does the contact order state that someone must be with the child when you have contact?

If not, point out to your ex that the order states that YOU get contact with the child for a specified amount of time (The order will dictate the amount of time) and that MUST be adhered to.

If you get anything less or you are not allowed time alone with your child then get back to court pronto and get an enforcement order NOW.

She is only putting the rope around her neck and as bad as it sounds, will only go in your favour (Unreliable mother, failing to accept the order of a court etc).

Thanks for your reply . i have a feeling no order was made because my ex failed to show for the last two hearings ! i have just searched through my paperwork and i cant find an order stating what you said should be stated .
So i will write to Bournemouth courts and ask them to clarify if such an order was made and what is in the order .
i will mention my situation and see if they can advise me .
ref my ex nfailing to show for the last 2 hearings , the judge advised me to try and contact my ex and inform her that if she did not co-operate then i would apply for an enforcement order . i suggested she look up what this meant . and it must have frightened her because im now having contact but from the first meeting she made it clear it was to be by her rules . anyway after 3 meetings with my daughter i feel 1 hr is simply not enough time to bond with her or do any activity not that my ex wants to let me take my daughter anywhere . very fustrating situation for both dad and daughter .

Hi it doesn't sound like there is any order. I would write to the court and ask for another date for a follow up hearing . Or your ex will always have the upper hand , don't delay

Hi There,

I agree it doesn't sound as though a order was written, at least not a final one as the mother didn't attend the last 2 hearings, was anything set out as an interim order at the first hearing? if it was then she would be in breach of this and an enforcement order could be raised.

I would as you say wright to the court and ask for some clarification and a date to attend, the hope would be that if the mother failed to attend they would make an order in her absence but i'm not sure how that would work.

In the mean time I would start a log of every conversation, txt, email with anything agreed. This will help in court if you go as it will show the issues and having a detailed log rather than call upon memory will help your case no end.

GTTS

thanks very much guys . i have already sent a letter to bournemouth and poole county court . i will let you know how i get on .

Up-date . I have my day in court booked for 19th july . have seen my daughter twice since original post and im still only getting 1 hour with her . My ex hasnt mentioned anything about pending court date . Im due to see my daughter next sunday so i think i will mention the court date . I think she will not turn up again . ( she failed to attend previous 2 court hearings )
Not quite sure what will happen in court !

Question having parental responsibility gives me what ? i have contact with my daughter school , school reports etc etc which is good .
do i have the right to be informed if my daughter is taken out of school ? also if my daughter is taken out of the country , does my ex need my consent ? and if she does take my daughter outside the uk without my consent what are the consqences ?
Is there anywhere online that has info ( legal ) so i can print this off to show my ex or would the court inform my ex that i have these rights and the consqences of breaking these .

Is there a residence order? If so, it will say at the bottom that the parent with care can take the child out of the country for a period of up to a month. I would say that if you have PR, you should be informed if your daughter is taken out of school - certainly on a regular basis.

Thanks for your reply . There is currently no order of any type made . Im hoping to change that at the court hearing on 19th july .
My ex did not attend the last 2 hearings and it was suggested by the court that i contact my ex and inform her that if she did not allow me access with my daughter i should apply for enforcement order .
That obviously scared her and meetings/visits were established but its the lack of time that i am given with my daughter that is the problem . it takes me 3 hrs to travel to new milton from london and 3 hrs back . Im allowed 1 hr with my daughter in the same restaurant /cafe . I have seen my daughter about 6 times and only twice have we been left alone .
I have asked my ex if i can take my daughter swimming and asked if i could take her to bournemouth to a food festival . I get refused everytime although my daughter has said she would like to go .
So i just accept it without questioning her reason . but ive had enough now and decided to let the court deal with it . Although as stated i dont think she will attend again .

I think it could be a long fight - if she doesn't attend, I'm not sure whether you can change the request at court to be for residence (others on here probably will know that), and if so, I'd be inclined to do it. Certainly, I agree that contact should be for far more than you are getting and when you have that contact, the time you have with your daughter should not be dictated by your ex.

...You asked for some info you could print off and show the mother...Here's a Gingerbread info download that might be helpful

www.gingerbread.org.uk/uploads/media/17/7222.pdf