[Solved] Is this classed as kidnap

Hi and welcome to the site!

Unfortunately what your wife is doing isn't illegal. This is because the law views contact as the right of the child, rather than the parent. As the resident parent she can determine what she feels is an appropriate level of contact. If she has reduced or stopped contact you can approach the courts for a contact order.

I think there may still be an opportunity to resolve whatever issues your ex has by using a mediation service. This is a scenario were you use a third party to help you to reach an agreement. In fact I would offer it to your ex anyway, as a court would have expected you to have tried to resolve the matter between yourselves ahead of their involvement. You mention that your seperation is quite recent, so I assume that emotions are still raw for both of you?

Can I ask what were the changes she has asked for regarding your contact schedule? Has contact been reduced significantly? Has anything happened recently that would trigger this response from your wife?

FM '70

We have shared residency as I had our child 3 nights per week. The proposed changes were to redeuce my contact by 3 days over a 14 day period.
I am aware of mediation and am willing to go there, however I do not want my ex to stop me having any contact until we go to mediation or court. I have had to agree to a one day and one night reduction in every 14 days otherwise she would no let e see my child.
I do not want my child being used as a weapon. Nothing as changed that could provoke this from me ex.

If what you say is true, then I also have the right to refuse to let my ex see the child until she goes to court or mediation! I am not going to do this, however what is right for one is right for the other.

Sadly, this isn't the case.

What you have is a Shared Residency arrangement, which you have agreed between yourselves. However this arrangement has no basis in law. I have a similar arrangement with my ex regarding our son. My ex could actually terminate it on a whim and has done in the past, so I know exactly how you feel.

It looks like she's trying to limit your contact to alternative weekends. I think you're right to take what she's offering, but you really need to try a resolve this in mediation if possible. If you threaten her with the courts, she may stop contact altogether and it could be months before you see your child again.

It's odd that she has suddenly taken this stance and objected to the level of contact you are having with your daughter, especially as your shared residency arrangement had been working fairly successfully for a few months. Has your split been fairly amicable up to now?

Yes, everything was ok upto now. Her mother I think is interfering and putting ideas and words into her mouth.
I thought that the law was changing to help resolve things like this?
It's not right that she can do this. If it was up to me, my daughter would be living with me permanently and will be if my ex shows any signs of mental instability ( she used to be a self harmer when she was younger and there is history of mental illness in her family)

Hopefully the law will change in the forseeable future and fathers will have much better rights, but until that happens we're stuck with what we have now.

Your situation is almost identical to mine. My ex also used to self harm when she was younger and I suspect that she suffers from a bi-polar condition. She definitely suffered from severe post natal depression, but refused to go and see a doctor about it. It was a difficult time and I'm really quite glad that we're not together anymore.

It took a while, but I was able to re-establish the level of contact I had with my son and we have a great relationship.

Good luck!