[Solved] Joint mortgage | can i legally stay in the house

I know when I was planning on moving out of the family home in 2009 I was told by my solicitor that it would be better if I didn’t, however things got so tense between us that I just had to move out as I was genuinely scared that if I stayed there I was in real danger of being falsely accused of anything….my ex is a proper “nut-case” and since leaving I’ve found the depths she will sink to so I am very glad I got out when I did!
The solicitor I had at the time did say there was nothing stopping me moving back in…its jointly your house and your mortgage….but unless I was moving in because of reconciliation of the relationship then it would be very difficult to not end up at the wrong end of an allegation such as Domestic Violence……of which potentially becomes her word against yours and she would get you removed from the house. You'd then have a much bigger fight on your hands than you have right now.

The best people to ask would be a legal advisor, the legal people who contribute here may be able to offer specific advice, I’d make sure you have the full facts and don’t just turn up on the doorstep with your bags unless you’ve the police acting as your witness.

The reason I say police is not because you did anything wrong but when I went to my house my ex was still living there, i went to collect some things that I still had stored there, I took my father along just to have someone with me, I was refused by my ex to get my things from the garage and threatened so we left. i contacted the Police and I returned the following day with a police officer with me.
From then on I’ve made sure if I’ve needed to get anything that I’ve asked the police to attend to prevent a “breach of the peace” just to protect me from false accusations…..this for me has paid off big style in court….as during one hearing statement she said to court about me and my father being abusive and threatening on one of the visits where she had supposedly called the police to me being there…I simply referred the judge to the police officers notes of the visit which backed me up and also pointed out that it was me that had called the police the day before to ask them to be in attendance with me at the specified time and date!

Hi!
I agree with first reply - especially since previously sane people can turn into insane venomous self-seaking 'nut jobs' in a flash (as a few of us on here have discovered!) That being said - with retrospect, I would still have moved back into my property, as I was in exactly your situation. I regret not doing that now - although who knows - I could have ended up on the wrong end of an allegation if I had.

Thank you dad-i-d and jibberjabber,

I appreciate your comments. I was unaware i could call the police and request this and reading about your experiences this may be the best thing as my ex has definitely 'turned', she is starting to stoop quite low.

Am i in my rights to force a sale on the house? Obviously i will be there to help my ex and my son move into another place, i won't see either of them on the street or anything like that but she has continually said it will ruin his life and disrupt him etc but i don't think moving home will have this kind of impact especially if i help them move to somewhere local to where they are now.

I certainly know my ex tried all she could to prevent the sale of the house, however i'm not certain if you can legally force the sale. What i do know is that if the mortgage is in joint names you both are responsible for paying it.....failure to pay will affect you both.

i stopped paying my half the mortgage when i found out from a friend that the ex had moved a new fella in….as soon as she knew that I knew and I was refusing to keep paying I got all sorts of threats and cr*p from her!
She threatened to stop paying her half too….so I decided I’d risk not paying and if the mortgage defaulted then so be it….why should I keep her n her fella in my house!!!

My story gets better/worse…..i sold them my equity earlier this year for a ¼ of what it was worth….the reason was to just get out of the mortgage so I could at least look at buying my own place instead of renting.
I found out a few weeks ago that they have put the house back on the market and have basically scr*wed me over!!! Argghhh!!

dad-i-d - what a nightmare! I think i am on the same path! Knowing what you know now would you still suggest getting out of the mortgage or sticking it out? I have been paying the mortgage for 6 years, so the thought of walking away with nothing just doesn't seem right and there doesn't seem to be any laws stopping this kind of thing, we are completely unprotected from what i can see.

If i sell my equity does that mean she needs to remortgage or can i sell my share to anyone and get taken off the mortgage?

If my ex agrees to sell in 3 years time which she has said she will but i think she will refuse in 3 years, can i get her to sign anything legally to safeguard my equity and add interest to this for the next 3 years?