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Hi everyone
Just wanting to now a bit of advice so will cut a long story short.
basically as we all know when you meet a new partner the ex suddenly uses a child as a weapon, well i visit my partner every weekend, and i used to have my daughter come with me so i can see here spend time with her and my new life where i am going to be moving in with my partner too, this was all fine, even though i was slagged off on the lovely facebook my eldest daughters saw, but december all changed, throughout all my civilness hers was never the same she stopped my daughter being with me, so i had her 3 hours after i finished work every wednesday, now this week i am off work and its half term, i have said to the ex i no longer want to speak or contact or even see her for the atmosphere for my daughters, and arranged with my eldests daughter to come down to see me for a few days over half term and bring the youngest one who is 5, so this was apporved as my eldest daughter said to me, then i recieve a text from my daughter the ex wishes me to ring her and arrange it, whch i do not want too as its aways arguements, non civilness and knowing my youngest one would hear her that end i want to prottect my youngest one from all the sillyness
so is there anyway i can sort out a way i can use a middle person to sort out this madness and i see my youngest one, i am working so money is not my greatest friend so solicitor and mediation i know cost money, is there any other services that provide something that i can use that is cheaper or free.
thanks
Hi Joe,
I appreciate the difficulty in communicating with an ex (mine drives me up the wall), but I think you need to consider your own actions here. You don't have to speak to your ex, but you do need to communicate with her. Using your kids as a go-between isn't really the answer and it's not fair on them.
To be honest the courts would refer this to mediation and give you fairly short thrift. I would suggest writing to your ex and tell her how you feel in a polite, non-confrontational way. Tell her that the animosity that exists between you is affecting the kids and that you feel a need to to move forward in a way that limits the opportunities to argue and snipe. Suggest mediation by all means, but from what you've written, it does look like this is something you can sort out between yourselves.
I rarely speak to my ex directly, but we do communicate about our son via text and through email. I prefer it this way, because it gives me a record of every discussion and some security in the fact that I have evidence should I ever need it.
Look mate, I know what it's like and how your ex can push every single one of your buttons just to get a rise. So you need to look to limit direct conversations and lower the risk of confrontation. Communcate through text and email. Yes it's a pain occasionally, but nothing like the hassle following an unnecessary argument.
Write to her. Suggest restricting communication to text and email, and offer mediation as a means of clarifying a schedule of contact with your children.
You probably won't even need mediation. Bite the bullet and take the next step.
FM '70
hi, thanks for the reply, i am thinking the email way is a good idea, as i dont want her to have my number due to changing it and her last abusive texts ,... even though emails most likely will be the same, but as i have much evidence of screenshots etc,. its good evidence as you have said too.
just wish there was a way like mediation/solicitor but dosent cost so much :unsure:
I agree with FM and would use email only, and if you are going to send an email, write it, and then sit on it until the following day and re read it, and think how it would look to a judge if you had to go back to court, and rewrite it accordingly.
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