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Good Morning to you all,
I have just registered today so here goes lol.
Over 2 years ago me and my ex seperated under an amicable agreement on access of our children. The children were to live with me and she was to contact the child benefit department to advise them of the situation so they could start to pay me the benefit.
I am looking for advice on how I can make sure this agreement does not get broken in the future and would like to make it a more legal agreement for the stabillity and security of my children.
My children who are 5 and 9 have alot of downs to contend with in there life but now they are settled and doing well with school and confidence.
I would like for any advice on how I can accomplish this whilst I still have agood communication with the mother of the children.
I am still married but fear if I go for divorce she will take the children away from me and just when they are settled this would send them worse again.
I look forward to all advice on the above situation.
Thank you
The children's legal centre can advise you on how to apply for a residence order - to make it as easy as possible, then you are best speaking to your ex first, as if she agrees, then it would be a matter of the court rubber stamping a consent order.
However, I'd think carefully before you do anything. At the moment, everything is amicable - can you be sure you know how your ex would react if you said you want a residence order? It may be that she would take the view that you don't trust her, and the whole situation might then spiral into confrontation.
Unless you have a good reason otherwise, I would seriously consider leaving the situation as it is now. If your ex ever makes an issue of it, and tries to get residency, the longer they have been living with you, the less chance she has of succeeding (in fact, I'd say that with over 2 years, she has no chance whatsoever now) unless there are concerns for the children's welfare, which there obviously isn't. At the moment, you have an ideal situation, so I'd leave it as it is and see what happens if and when you apply for a divorce.
Thank you very much and has given me food for thought, I just dont want things to get ugly for the childrens sake thats all.I totally understand what you say thow and might be best going over that bridge at th time.
Cheers for your advice on this matter,
Just another quick question ?
Over the past 2 years I have managed to set up the following beneits :
child benefit
child tax
housing benefit ( even though there is a short fall over over £160 per month I have to find)
council tax
I dont know the system in great depth but is there anything I have missed or not looked at, dont worry if you dont know and thx again for your reply.
Richard
Hi Richard
You can get advice about any further benefits and entitlements through your local Citizens Advice Bureau.
You can also contact Gingerbread, the charity for single parents. they run the Single Parent Helpline. Call them for free helpline 0808 802 0925 or click on this link http://www.gingerbread.org.uk They have an Expert help with benefits factsheet you can download.
I hope this helps.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
