Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
hi
im looking for legal advice after access to my children has been denied by my ex partner,im really confused and its all a bit messy-here goes,thanks for reading.
I split up with my ex around 9 months ago and at the start had access to my daughters (2&4) everyy weekend.unfortunatly 2 months ago this all stopped as soon as i found a new partner.my ex has been harrassing both of us with txt msgs,facebook,skype,verbally in the street and through any means possible.
a few weeks ago i received a phone call from the police saying I had been reported for harrassing HER! and to not go near her or have any contact with her at her home.
now all thats fine but she wont let me have the kids unless i collect them from her house,which the police wont let me do as i will be arrested so im stuck.i want to counter her harrasment charge but the police say i will be arrested also and as i work in schools this will affect my CRB check so its a no go.
on the polices advice i contacted a solicitor who said they would write a letter to her outlining my terms of access-unfortunatly im not eligible for legal aid and cant afford a lengthy solicitor process if my ex counters the letter(which she will)
i am also unsure what a solicitors letter would acheive?as far as i can tell it is just a jumped up threat to try to make the other party back down.
my ex has a history of mental problems and is regurlarly violent and abusive towards me,another reason why she likes to get me in to her house and im very worried about my childrens care.in her words "she wont stop until i have nothing"
the police have also told me to always collect the children when i have someone with me.i have no immediate family to help with this and it isnt the place for my new partner to be.
all of this is putting a strain on my whole life.
my idea of action is this-please if anyone knows of a better way then let me know.
i want to begin by writing and sending a signed for recorded letter to my ex stating my terms of access.it might be something like this.
1)I wish to have my daughters every other weekend form the hours of friday 17:00 to sunday 13:00
2)as advised by the police i wish to have a 3rd party present at all pick ups and drop offs
3)my time with my children is solely my own and is not held under any condition by yourself.
4)I am allowed to develop a support network to help me care for my children.
5)special occasions such as celebrations will be shared equally.
This is about as far as i have got with that.if my ex refuses or tries to put in a ridiculous offer of contact herself,i was thinking my next move would be to apply for a court order and represent myself?
If anyone here can help id be very grateful.its been a month now that i havnt seen my children and my ex doesnt allow me to call them on the phone either.
many thanks.
Tom.
Hi and welcome to the forum
It's a slightly tricky situation. I would consider representing yourself, and yoji's "guide to representing" yourself at the top of the legal section is a must-read. If your ex make's the process difficult, she can easily continue until the costs force you to stop (my own case cost £30 - £40 thousand in total), so if you think you can't afford it, then start representing yourself from the start. We have access to free legal advice on here if you don't have your own solicitor.
I would, however, look at mediation to start off with, and if an agreement can be reached, then have that agreement written into a contact order.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.