Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi all,
Im new on here and am in need of advice with what could be a big problem with regards to my daughters health.
My daughter is 4 & lives with her mother, older sister, baby brother & mothers b/f, I have my daughter & her older sister (whos 9 & who also calls me dad even though she is fully aware I am not her birth father but am basically the only dad shes known and it was at her own request to me 1 day that she wants to call me dad and has done so ever since under her own choice) every weekend, I currently have perental rights with regards to my 4 year old but only verbal consent from their mum with regards to the oldest. I have had this access for approx the last 2 1/2 years.
Me & my ex have a really good relationship now as mates which is cool and I get on really well with her b/f, problem is over the last year they have had massive problems with the flat where they live, the local council are their landlords & the b/f's employer, the problem they have been having is with black mould that has formed in my girls' bedroom, its all over the walls & is absolutley disgusting!! As a result both girls have missed at least 60 days of school in the last year due to their repeated illness living in those conditions and both have now developed breathing problems, my 4 year old has been recently diagnosed with asthma & now has to have a pump 3 times a day at least!! Im disgusted but the council are doing nothing about it!! My ex and her B/f have done everything to raise awareness of their problem which is due to be in the national newspapers in the next couple of weeks. My question is Im really concerned about both girls' health & want them outta there ASAP!! The council have told my ex it'll be at least another 18 months until she gets a move!! But I just cant sit here and do nothing so need to find out if I can legally obtain temporary custody of my girls' until the council provide adiquate living accomodation to my ex & if so how do I go about it?
I would ask my ex to give me custody until then but I know she will refuse but I have to do whats best for my girls', any advice?
Hi Roon
Firstly, welcome to Dadtalk. I hope you will find the forum helpful and informative. I am very sorry to hear about this situation and I can only imagine how distressing it must be for you to know your daughters are having to sleep in such an unhealthy home. It's appalling that the council are, to date, not doing anything about this. Perhaps by raising the issue in the press, something will be done speedily, fingers crossed. It's not clear whether your ex and her b/f have been in touch with the environmental health department but this is another avenue they could try. You may also find it helpful to get advice about this from the charity Shelter who can give free housing advice on all kinds of issues, including what you are facing. You can call them on 0808 800 4444, http://www.shelter.org.uk
I know how much you want your girls out of that house and have thought about obtaining temporary custody but it is likely that your ex will refuse this and it may mean you having to apply through the courts for this right. Clearly it's a sensitive issue and whilst I understand you want to do the best for your girls, you also need to keep your ex onside.
I will email our legal team to ask for their advice about this, it will likely take a while, so keep looking, in the meantime it may help to try the organisations I've mentioned above.
I hope this helps.
As you are generally happy with the status quo with regard to who lives with who, I wouldn't try to go for resisdence as it will spoil a good relationship, and I would be surprised if you succeeded.
I would suggest, however, that you consult your ex to say what you are going to to, and then contact social services to say that you are concerned about your daughter's health. It's possible that they may be able to apply extra pressure to get the council to get the property sorted out.
It may also be worth contacting Citizens Advice Bureau to see if they can suggest anything extra you can do.
Dear Roon
As suggested above, we would suggest advising your ex-partner and her boyfriend to contact Shelter. Your ex-partner may qualify for legal aid and it is a good idea for them to seek further legal advice in relation to their housing situation.
It is possible for you to apply to the court for residence of your children however it is not certain whether or not this would be granted and this may damage any relationship that you have with your ex-partner. In order for the courts to change residence from one parent to another there usually has to be a risk of harm to the children in their current place of residence. This would include any health risks due to inadequate accommodation, however this would have to be backed up by substantial evidence from medical professionals and other professionals involved in the children's lives.
The court has to make a decision based on what is in the children's bests interests. The court will only move children from one parent to another if there does not appear to be any other choice.
If you do decide that you wish to make an application to the court then it is possible to do so by contacting your local county court and asking for a 'C100' form. You will then need to fill this form in and send it back to the court with the application fee of £175. The court will be able to provide basic administrative instructions of how to file the application form. You and your ex-partner will then receive confirmation of when to attend court to decide upon the issue.
If the position regarding residence continues to be contested then it is likely that the proceedings will go on further than just one hearing. We would recommend contacting Families Need Fathers ( www.fnf.org ) for further advice regarding how to represent yourself.
If you require further advice on this matter then please do not hesitate to phone the Child Law Advice Line on 08088 020 008.
Kind regards
Children's Legal Centre
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.