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I split up with my wife a few months ago after a short illness. I have two children a boy and a girl and they live with their mother and I have agreed this is the best option for them they are settled at school etc.
I don't have much money to spare but pay 60% of my income to my wife and children. She has refused to let me have calls with the children as I can't afford to go and visit them regularly. She says they get too upset, but what they ask for is to live with me.
I have not done the court thing yet as I have been trying to work this out amicably but seem to be getting nowhere. One day she is fine and all is ok, then it is not ok and I am not allowed to speak to them ever again. She is even threatening to leave the country.
I really don't know what my options are as I can't afford legal because of what I am giving them and because of my income I can not have any assistance.
Hi spendracing,
A few questions:
How old are your children and do you have Parental responsibility?
Is there an agreement or a reason as to why you pay 60% of your income to your ex-wife?
What level of contact are you currently getting?
Where/When is she thinking about moving to/is she a foreign national?
Don't worry with regards to not being able to afford legal representation we can sort that later after the above questions 🙂
My children are 6 and 8 years old
No there is no agreement it is just I fund a car for them to be able to get around in, pay for some storage for them and then given them all I can afford to give.
I get very sporadic contact - last time I saw them was for a day in January 2012 and spoke to them once since. I want to make sure it is regular as it is impacting my health again and of course will then impact my ability to earn and then provide.
She has relatives in Italy and that is probably where she is thinking of, no she is a British National. She never is specific.
Hi spendracing,
Thanks for the answer 🙂
Just for me to be able to let you know that technically, unless you are a named person on the storage and or anything to do with the car you aren't liable to pay for that. Its quite commendable what you are doing, however this seems to be all take.
You first would be best if things are OK between yourselves trying to talk about getting some set contact routine. If they are not amicable, write to her or her Solicitor giving 14days to respond to agree something. Even if its just a day per weekend with a view to this being increased.
If this fails to actually agree any set contact pattern, Court will be your recourse. Don't worry so much about Mediation, this will be an expectation of the Courts and they can request that you both attend a Mediation appointment. Its important in my opinion to involve Mediation throughout the Court process as any agreement reached in Mediation can therefore be brought back to Court to be put into a legally binding order. As opposed to a verbal agreement which can be broken with no penalty or recourse.
If she is planning on moving back to Italy, she will need your express consent to do this.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
