[Solved] Lost the 1st battle but won the war.

This time 3 years ago i was like all you are now, crawling the internet, looking for information, finding this site and only finding out all about the Family Injustice System in this country( not just this country, but all over the western world, but thats another, more political rant!) I'd just been issued a non-mol and a prohibited steps order alleging all the usual lies, domestic abuse, a danger of abducting my son, you all know the lies that gets told, after I think 5 hearings I had to give undertakings that I wouldnt do any of the things she was alleging, I never. I was then allowed to see my son every other weekend and a night in the week for tea, I was heartbroken as although my ex was his primary carer he always preferred me over her, if he cried he cried for me, he'd only eat properly for me and he'd only go to sleep for me etc etc etc, we really did have a fantastic bond, then it all come crashing down, terrible times, it really is dreadful and my heart really goes out to everyone this happens to.

Anyway, after about a month of this routine something changed with her and she offered to change the routine to 50/50 I jumped at the chance, The boy was 7 then and I think he was constantly going on at her about seeing more of me and I think it broke her in the end and she relented, although I'm still not sure why! So it carried on like this for just over 2 years, we had a few disagreements and arguments but nothing really major, only once did I have to see a solicitor and a letter from them seemed to do the trick.

Then in January this year the chaos started, she got evicted out of her home, I still dont know why now, she says the landlord wanted the house back, I asked her at the time why she didnt stay for her notice and get the council to rehouse her, but no she was adamant she had to leave as quick as she could, very strange, I dont think she'd been paying the rent and just had to leave out of embarrassment! Then in the March I dont really know what happened but she got in touch asking me to keep hold of him for a while as she wasnt well, ha, I wasnt going to say no to that! For the next couple of months her life just spiraled downwards out of control, she rarely phoned and hardly saw him, always making excuses. On one morning she phoned to say she couldnt see him because she'd fallen off her bike and hurt her arm, then later on that day she phoned to say that she'd fallen down some stairs and broke her arm and cut her face and also had a black eye!!! It's all still really hard to understand as when we were together this just wasnt her! This carried on for another 6 weeks, he did see her during this time and he was really shocked at her appearance, as was I, but I couldnt really stop him going as that would make me just as bad as other people who stop contact and I really couldnt bring myself to do it.

Then in one phone call to him she said to him that she'd be getting a flat soon and he could go back and live with her, he replied that she'd been saying this for 6 months now and he lives with his dad now! She phoned me back an hour later to say because of what he'd said she was going the school the next day and taking them both to a homeless hostel!! No chance!!! But the problem was legally she could do because she had a residency order in her favour.

Luckily for me I'd started to keep a diary again in January when it all started so the next day off I went, diary in hand to a solicitors to try and get an urgent hearing in front of a Judge, I hadnt tried previously as there would of been no grounds for an urgent hearing but this threat of a hostel in my view was grounds. The judge (same Judge who had made the original orders) agreed!! She ummed and arrrd a fair bit but when she finally got the jist of what was going on she issued a Prohibited Steps order in my favour. I'll never forget what then happened, it was my birthday that day and we all went out in the evening for a meal, just as I was blowing out the candles on my cake (I know!!) my phone rang, it was the process server to say the order had been served, how about that for timing!

So last week, 4 hearings and a section 7 report later we returned to court for a DRH/Final Hearing, I was expecting a bit of a tussle to be honest but no, she folded and now she just gets every other weekend and tea with him one night a week.

Its taken 3 years almost to the day really to reverse what was started by the ex and her lies, I do feel a bit sorry for her, but she brought it all on herself, the problems she's been having recently still seem to be there so I'm not sure whats going to happen in the future, I'm going to go along with the order as much as I can as I really dont and never have wanted to stop him seeing his mum, but it feels and has done for a while now that she still hasnt turned her life back around yet.

So for now, for everyone just starting out on this horrible road stay strong and stay in there for the sake of your children as you just never know whats going to happen in the future!!