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From the very little contact my parents have had with my ex a couple of weeks ago, she has stated that she needs help.
Mother told her to sort this mess out and the help is here for you, always has been and always will be.
I am under advisment by solicitor not to make any contact with her due to her allegations against me of being abusive, violent and harrasment towards her.
Her past and her mental health has brought the actions of social services on her and her behaviour since my daughter was born was unstable to say the least. Part of this behaviour was running off with some fella and living in a bedsit which i found about and contacted social services immediately here where I am and where she was also.
Since she came back to town after doing a runner, the only time i have seen her was at court in september, and i have recieved two abusive phone calls of her.
I know where she is, and she has a Prohibited Steps Order in place, but I do not have a contact phone number for her, she changed her landline number over 12 months ago.
As I am taking my solicitors advice I logged each of the phone calls.
We constantly asked for mediation which she rejected and said it is courts or nothing.
So how would I go about setting up some maintanence, as it is my right to provide for my daughter, I am in a positon that I can, I have prepard a room for her in my new house I am renting tho the central heating is bust at the mo, landlady is tryng to get it sorted so I can properly move in, but yeah, I have nearly a perfect place for her, just need a few things like a monitor and safty gates, locks for cupboards for her safety but it will be a while yet before she comes and stays a weekend, but I wont it ready for her. Typical 'nesting' that I wasnt allowed to do when the ex was pregnant and dumped me.
Is it worht talking to the social worker about this? I did get a message to my ex last week when I found out that I wasnt needed to appear at court, I told SW to inform ex saying if I wasnt needed then i didnt think she was needed as the report had not been done. SW said she would and in letter from solicitor this week regarding new date it mentioned she was not there also.
So is it worth asking Social Worker about this and see if she will mediate an arrangement. Wont be much to start off as Solicitors to pay for.
If you can do it yourself do it.
I guess you could speak to SS or request her to attend mediation which she may attend as it means she gets support.
The other alternative is to open CSA case yourself and give them her details. They will contact her and update her as well.
You dont need to involve them other than for calculating the figure.
Regards,
Dave
Agreed, I doubt the SS would facilitate maintenance but the CSA or CMS will...either parent can initiate a case with them.
Might it not be better if you open an account and pay a regular amount into it for your daughter. That way if the ex does bring it up you can show that you have been providing for her future. If you start paying the mother there's no guarantee the money will get spent on your daughter, it's more likely to get absorbed into the general budget for all of the children.
I do have a B/S account, I can not get one in her name as I am not on her BC, but when I started work I was putting money into that, then I have used that to help pay for deposit for the house.
Myself and my parents have spent somewhere in the region of 3 grand in rent /deposit and getting the house sorted (decoratwing furniture, my girls room). Now the heating is finaly working I will be in very very soon, couldnt come quick enough mind.
So I will try to look at putting something aside for her. Still need some things for her room, like bedding, bookcase, toy box, they are not a priority at the moment.
Gumtree is a good place to pick stuff up mate it aint all [censored], some people just have too much money and buy new stuff soon as there wifes mention it or whatever! Just check everyday people out there will buy something new and then replace it a month later as it makes them feel good inside!
Ebay is good too. We have a FB page for our area called "for sale in ( name of your town)" ...there are some real bargains to be had! The likes of Wilkinsons and Asda have some reasonably priced home wares too.
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