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Hi has anyone got any adivce.When my wife and i separated she told me she couldn't open a bank account due to the debt she was in so because we were on good terms i agreed to pay her cash every month for my son.We also agreed an amount and I have never missed one payment in six years, also we agreed that I can have my son every week end (this suited my Ex due to her nights out in town) but now she has met someone she has turned nasty and she is saying that i carnt see him anymore and she has threatened to go to the CSA saying i haven't paid anything from day one (even though in the divorce papers she sighed them saying we agreeed an amount) do I have a leg to stand on? 🙁
Hi Wez and welcome to the forum.
As a matter of interest, what percentage of your take home pay are you passing at present?
As to where you stand, the CSA calculate maintenance owed from the day either parent first contracts to ask them to take the case so even if you hadn't paid anything, you wouldn't be liable for arrears. they also have to pay money into a bank account, as far as I know they can't pay cash. With one child, you would be paying 15% of you take home pay and you may have allowable deductions of you have any costs involved in travelling to contact. personally I'd be tempted to ask the CSA to take on the case before she does, that way there is a record of what you have paid from now on. You could certainly give them a ring or contact the child maintenance options - there's a link to their site at the bottom of this forum - let us know what they say if you do.
I wouldn't worry about the CSA too much Wez as they can only backdate payments to the day they were first contacted, I'm presuming the ex hasn't contacted them as yet?
Someone more qualified will be along to answer the contact issues question.
Keep the head, keep the faith and keep a diary.
Oops, forgot about the contact part of the question. the first step is to try for mediation. Importantly, you need to make sure you keep record and transcripts of every event and communication that happens as if you go to court, this will help. You also need to make sure that whatever she says or does, you don't react to it - if you do end up going to court, the better you have handled the situation and the easiest she has will help your case immensely.
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