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Hi. I would like the genuine and very honest opinions of as many people as possible about the relationship i have with my sister-in-law please.
I've been separated for about six years and have two young children who i see every other week-end.
My brother hasn't been happy with his wife for years and, in my opinion, he could have treated her far better than he did. They split up almost two years ago. He has a new partner. His now 'ex' and myself got together in August 2012 and i moved in with her almost right away. I spoke to my brother about it before i move in with her and he is happy for the both of us and wished us both all-the-best.
Her and I get on great, obviously, and my two nephews who stay with us are fab.
My son loves playing with his cousins although my daughter prefers to spend time alone with just her brother and i.
My 'ex' wife (we're still married) has taken great exception to me being in a relationship with my sister-in-law and has claimed it is morally wrong. Because of this and her other actions, i now haven't been allowed to see or speak to my children since November 2012.
It's all very messy and i'm up in court soon because of it all.
What do you all think? Is it wrong to be in this relationship or is she just jealous? I just want to get an idea of what people are thinking.
I'd be most grateful for your thoughts. Thanks.
Hi I cant see anything wrong in what you have done its not like you have both been unfaithful , you had both split from your partners. Its wrong what your soon, I hope, to be ex wife ! is doing to stop the children seeing you. Are you going to court for contact and are you divorcing ?
hi there 🙂
The only person that might have had reason to be upset about it is your brother, and he has given you his blessing.
I think there must be some jealousy involved on your wifes part, or it could be the old " She doesn't want you but she doesnt want anyone else to have you either" syndrome! As for it being morally wrong, thats just not so!
What is morally wrong however is stopping you from seeing your children. If you have been split for 6 years and you have had regular contact with your kids all that time, the court will I'm sure order that contact be resumed.
The best advice I can give is get a divorce, get your contact back and be happy! 🙂
On one hand I’d have to say if your brother has been ok with it then it’s no one else’s business.
On the other I’d have to say you really should have seen this coming. In my honest opinion it was a questionable decision by both you and your ex sis-in-law to get together and could certainly be a potential flash point for your ex and you but these things cannot be helped I guess.
I have been split with my ex since 2009, late in 2010 I met a girl, got on ok but we split after almost 3mths. I couldn’t deal with eating issues I found out about her. Not long after we split I found out my brother had started seeing her…..i was not happy mainly due to his attitude about it…..the unwritten blokes rules i.e. don’t “do” a mates ex” I thought the same went for ex’s of family members as well.
What you do is up to you as long as no one else gets hurt, as long as your brother is happy and the kids are all happy on all sides then its just your ex that has the problem!
As NJ says….it sounds more like your ex doesn’t want you but she doesn’t want you to be happy with anyone else either!
Hi to all that responded to my request. I'm delighted to hear your opinions and thank you so much for taking the time to express them. As my ex appears to be the only one to have any issues with my relationship, i'm now feeling a bit more confident and up-beat about what the future may hold for me with regards to contact again. I never thought i'd ever find myself in this position (child contact) and i am amazed at how many dads are going through the same or similar problems.
I can't believe that in this day and age, fathers who have a genuine love, concern, interest and role to play in their childrens lives are treated as criminals who have no importance or bearing in the up-bringing of their little ones. I know this is a massive, massive subject with many issues which need addressed urgently, but surely there should be a clause in the law which allows a loving, caring, concerned, non-abusive, non-threatening, no-risk dads to continue having the relationship with their children that they have grown to expect and enjoy.
No matter what happens in my life, i will ALWAYS be here for my children. I will love them, help them and support them til the day i die, just like the rest of you guys with your own children.
Good luck with your own situations. Keep your heads held high and thanks again for your input.
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