[Solved] Mediation advice

In my experience the first appointment will discuss monies to check if you qualify for free medition and get a generl background to the situation.

Dave

Thanks Dave - I am guessing that I won't qualify because I work full time and earn just below the UK average salary.

They will talk you through it.

Have you read the stickies regards mediation funding?

You may still get funding even if you do not qualify for legal aid.

Regards,

Dave

www.mediation-now.co.uk/charges-free-mediation.html

Thanks for this - perhaps i will get a contribution toward the cost. at the moment i am looking at £60/hour. not cheap!

You can check your eligibility for legal aid here

www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid

Mediation went as follows:

First 15 mins discussing if I qualified for legal aid to find out I didn't.
15 mins discussing the mediation process.
15 mins mediator asking me some questions.
Last 5 mins I asked some questions.

£60 for the privilege but at least the ball is rolling now and the next step is most probably in three weeks time where we shall meet together and try and come to an agreement.

I was disappointed to see my ex out having a drink on Friday evening whilst her parents were looking after my little girl which was usually my overnight contact time....
I feel like it was blatant rubbing salt into my wounds of limited contact time just because she can!

...as you say, at least the ball is rolling now. Good luck.

First mediation meeting complete and I am pleased to announce I will go back to having overnight contact time with our daughter as a result of my ex happy with my continued calm attitude. Behaving like a robot with absolutely no emotion has worked!

Perhaps the meeting was a reminder that contact time really matters to both parents. I am ecstatic overnight contact time once a week has been restored. Second mediation meeting will be next month because that is all I can really afford. I do hope that the balance in contact time will even itself out and that I avoid going to court altogether. Happy Christmas to one and all from a very happy Daddy.

That's great news...congratulations and a very happy Christmas to you and your little girl!

Barty9

so pleased to hear that over night staying contact has been restored and I am really pleased to hear that mediation is working for you. You are right to mention that maintaining a level of calm, civility and respect is half the battle.

Keep going my friend you will get there..."Ad aspera per astra - a rough road leads to the stars"

Barty9

so pleased to hear that over night staying contact has been restored and I am really pleased to hear that mediation is working for you. You are right to mention that maintaining a level of calm, civility and respect is half the battle.

Keep going my friend you will get there..."Ad aspera per astra - a rough road leads to the stars"

It does feel like one step forward and two steps back at times but the overnight contact time on a Friday into Saturday afternoon is absolutely wonderful. It is a pity that my ex partner has unearthed an unpleasant piece of information through Sarah's Law on my mums partner. Thankfully it is 'spent' in the eyes of the law and it does not involve child abuse.

It has put me in a very difficult position and I will no longer let my baby see my mums partner.

How did your mum take that bombshell?

Is it your decision to refrain from your baby seeing your mums partner?

Pete

I have decided to tell her after xmas but I will not allow my daughter to have any form of relationship with him for the immediate future.

This is such a shame... Perhaps you could discuss it after Xmas, wouldn't it be an option to allow it under supervision by your mum?

My third mediation date was set for next week but I have now received a letter stating that my ex partner no longer wants to continue with mediation because she feels that it is not beneficial. I am of course very disappointed because I thought things were moving in the right direction.

What's your next step then barty?

It's such a shame that she has halted mediation...is she aware that court is the only option left now?

I feel that the court is my last port of call. I am struggling to keep up with my on going payments of £350/month and I would like to pay the CSA calculated minimum of £164/month I know this might rock the boat but I don't really have a choice... any thoughts?
court will be a little way off at the moment because my stress levels are through the roof and I don't want to upset the time i currently spend with my little angel.

You have to make that choice yourself, I'm afraid. What would be the consequence of reducing the payments to the CSA figure - would it be much worse than it is now, and would you be able to get yourself in a better place than you are now, and be better to take on the legal battle? If so, then you don't have anything to lose - it does seem that your ex is holding you to ransom (and it's a common story on here) to get more money.

Financially I will be better off to help with the impending legal battle but that being said i think I will come up against a whole world of pain when she realises that funds have been cut in half

...you could always open a case with the CSA yourself, she can't argue with their calculation and she will receive correspondence from them concerning the correct amount.

If this is an option then I would speak to the CSA and tell them, for continuity, that you would like to continue to pay the correct amount whilst the claim is being set up ( this can take weeks),and ask how you could do this so that the payments you make will be acknowledged by them and taken into account when the claim is up and running.

Financially I will be better off to help with the impending legal battle but that being said i think I will come up against a whole world of pain when she realises that funds have been cut in half

It seems as though there is already a whole world of pain. I'd go for the CSA - there's nothing to stop you from volunteering additional payments when you want - that way, you start to take some control.