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I seriously have my doubts given my ex's attitude but I suppose I have to hope for the best.
If someone could explain the process, i.e: Do we both speak and the mediator offers a feasible solution than suits us both??
If it all goes to pot, are the content if the meetings disclosed to the court at a later stage? (especially as my ex WILL be awkward)
Any experiences negative or positive are welcomed.
Thanks
Hi There,
I have been through mediation twice, and found it very different each time, the first time the mediator wasn't much help and sat quietly she asked a few questions to start our sessions off and took notes throughout but didn't try to offer any sort of solutions to the issues we were stuck on, I don't think though to be fair that that is the role they play, I feel they should be there to bring some reality to the sessions and ensure tha either party aren't just being awkward for no reason. I found the first mediator to not try and resolve or offer any support at all.
The second mediatot though was very different, she managed to get my ex to reaslise she was being unreasonable, and would question why she wouldn't agree to things if she felt that my ex was being awkward about things, we managed to get a long way towards getting a reasonable outcome using this medaitor.
You will possibly have an oppertunity to talk to the mediator alone and also together so you will be able to tell them what you want to gain from the sessions, you will both be able to talk and take notes and the mediator will also take notes which they normally send to you afterwards, keep in mind though that everything agreed to in these sessions are without predudice so if either of you decide to change your mind a=once you have left the room there is nothing to enforce what was agreed.
Mediation can work and if you can gain an agreement it is likely to be a better one than going to court as you will have the freedom to mould it into what suits you.
If you are able to gain agreement make sure you have it written into a legally binding agreement through a solicitor or it won't stand later if things get awkard again.
Also remember to make it future proof so plan the future years and how you want contact (i'm guessing this is why your attending) to be, think about school holidays, christmas, birthdays and fathers days plus anything else you can think of.
The notes will be availible to the courts if it goes to court.
Darren
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