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Hi Gents,
I have had a quick browse through but couldnt quite find what i was looking for.
A quick history is the mother of my child and i split up in April and i have my girl one weekend night (and day) coupled with one to two nights in the week so potentially 3 nights per week.
We had a mix up around 4 weeks ago where as she turnd up with my daughter and i was a bit worse for wear after celebrating a friends birthday. I admitted i was not in a fit state to watch my daughter and the mother took my daughter to her mums, a tad angry. Genuine mix up and my ex obviously agreed to me seeing my girl again.The follwoing day.
Last Saturday morning after an horrendous nights sleep (work issues, coping being on my own, anxiety attacks) her father was dropping my girl off. He took one look at me, put two and two together and made five and proclaimed he was taking my daughter to his house as in his eyes 'i wasnt in a fit state' to care for my girl. She's 3 and a half by the way.
Now after talking to my mother who lives abroad, it seems to me that my reputation has proceeded me. My ex has now stated that until i can prove to her, her family and my family that i am a responsible Dad i can have no contact with her what so ever.
I have given her the home we bought together, i pay my maintanance on a standing order without fail and when i have my girl she wants for nothing. I have a decent job and i am respected in the workplace and homelife.
In my eyes she is only punishing me (based on someones opinion) the only way she can, through my daughter. The one who is suffering the most here IS my daughter.
I am looking for advice please as both my parents live abroad and i really don't know how to cope with it all, where i stand and how i manage this without breaking down.
Thanks in advance.
benji
Hi Benji and welcome 🙂
Have you thought of trying Mediation? This is where you would both attend a meeting at one of their centres, and with the guidance of a trained mediator talk through all the issues and hopefully come to an agreement.
I can understand your ex's concerns, no matter how unfounded you feel they are. She does have the right to expect you to be in a fit state during contact, but it was unfortunate that her father also found you in a similar condition.... you did rather shoot yourself in the foot and in future I would advise that you plan your recreation a little more thoughtfully! ;;)
Heres the link to the mediation website, I think it could be worth giving it a try. www.nfm.org.uk
Good luck with everything 🙂
I guess I agree with NJ on the first visit when you were hung over, but the second wasn't fully your fault, I guess in hindsight you could have gotten yourself up early and made your self look more presentable to your ex's dad, but thats in the past and you have to look forward to what to do.
I agree with NJ too that mediation should be your first thing to try and then if that doesn't work then look into the legal route.
Darren
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