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Hi there
You've probably gathered i am not a Dad! I am however acting on behalf of one and in desperate need of someone to help. Listen carefully and bear with me as this is very long and drawn out but any help would be amazing. I shall refer to both mother and father of the child in question as mum and dad!
Dad is here on a study visa from South Africa and meets Mum, they are together for 5 months, whirl wind romance. Dad is due to go home shortly as finished studying and wants to start looking at putting his skills learnt to use. Big fall out and Dad goes back earlier than planned and once back in South Africa Mum contacts to tell him she is pregnant!
Cutting this story as short as possible, Dad cant get back over so Mum at 8 months pregnant decides the only way is to go to South Africa herself and have the baby there then take things from there. Mum goes over, has the baby and they end up getting married too. They planned to stay and set up family in South Africa and did so for 3 months. Mum then decides shes home sick and wants to come home, they try but really struggle with sorting Dads visa, has two rejected so decide as money is running sort that Mum will come home and set up here and wait for Dad to get the correct visa and come here to join them. Birth certificate is done in South Africa, British and South African passport too.
Mum comes home with baby and things are going fine, suddenly Mum decides she doesn't want Dad here anymore and wants to live her life without Dad in the way and cuts contact. Dad is determined to get over as he wants access to his son, Mum refuses to help with Visa and another Visa has to be put through for different circumstances. A year on to last week since Dad has seen baby and Dad has 95% of the visa ready to be processed, all thats needed is a letter from Mum to say she will not be building a relationship with Dad or living together as a couple, he is coming for access to baby only. Mum refuses to send the letter.
After much talking to Mum she agrees to send the letter, she asks for an email stating what needs to be written and that she would send the completed email over for Dad to hand to the Embassy to process the visa. Email sent to Mum. Email sent back to Dad exact as it should be BUT on reading the e-mail properly this is in the middle 'to see him grow up, support him and be a father figure to him, even though 'baby' is not his biological son.'
This is the FIRST time anything has been mentioned about the paternity to this child. As you can imagine this has been a major shock to Dad. In the mean time Dad still gave the letter to the embassy as while this was stated regarding paternity the letter still did state her allowing him here and he is also Dad on the birth certificate.
Visa is refused a few days ago.
No Dad demands truth and Mum demands money for baby for the DNA test results, after many a debate DNA results are eventually sent to Dad and DNA states 'random' is 99.99% father to baby.
Devastated does not quite cover how Dad feels right now! BUT Dad has some very helpful Uk friends who do some investigating. On investigation and contact with the DNA company it turns out the test is a home kit and was purchased from Boots for £15. There is no proof at all that the results sent in are of the names stated on the paper. There is obviously a clear match between father and son but there is nothing to say father and son are who they are stated as. We also found out that the results could not be used in court as again there is no proof.
Now my problem being what the [censored] next!!!
If this girl had the heart to pretend all along, go to south africa, rack up debt, marry this guy, come back and cut him off then tell him he has never been the dad, am i expected to believe that this DNA is true!?
Dad is completely stuck as to what to do now, he is named on the birth certificate, hes handed her money and brought up and bonded a child that isn't even his (maybe) but he is thousands of miles away and cant get over to the Uk to fight his corner and get a DNA done properly.
Please someone tell me what to do or how to help him......I cant even imagine what he is going through and i am his only help here in the Uk
Thank you
There is only two bonafide companies in the UK which the likes of the CSA will accept the results from. If he isnt the father he can easily stop paying any maintaince as he is outside the UK and not being paid by a UK based company. The reason I say this as I've heard of stories where someone finds out they arent the father but are named on the birth cert and the CSA still expect them to pay because of it.
The other option is to take court action the father would need to fill out the correct paperwork and ask for a DNA test to confirm as he's based over there it's going to cost him a rand or two either self repping or geting legal advice.
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