[Solved] Mother threatening to move my son out of the city

Hi

You sound very confrontational, is the relationship with your ex very bad? If your son is 9 yrs old, perhaps it might be down to what he wants too?
I guess if you were to demand anything, then you would be at court asking for custody! Or would your ex see things your way?

S

I can only apologise for sounding confrontational. I can assure you this is not how I normally act, I was just slightly upset yesterday evening.
I have tried talking her about it and she says that she is moving no matter what, and that she will be taking her kids with her. Whenever the issue of my son living with me has come up in the past, she has "blown her top".
Normally our relationship is civil, until something like this comes up, and then she can become very aggressive because she knows that she holds all of the cards regarding my son.
Normally I wouldnt want to go through solicitors and courts, but I really dont see another option.
I have booked an appointment for Weds, with a solicitor, to see what their opinions on the situation are.
Has anyone else been involved in a situation like this?

Hi there

Welcome to Dadtalk

Sorry to hear about your situation - I do agree that mediation is always the best way but unfortunately sometimes you need to use the courts to determine an outcome.

One piece of advice is to forget about any differences you have with your ex - it is all about the child and you need to think about how you will provide for them.

Good luck and keep us posted

Hi,

Unfortunately, if your ex has good reasons for moving (ie, she's not simply moving to deny you access), then a court will normally not prevent her from moving anywhere in the country. You need to speak to your solicitor about your chances of gaining a residence order - you may have a chance on the basis that you can provide a stable environment for your son, but it's certainly not going to be an easy task.

Hi

I'm sorry you now worry about where your son will be living but as previously posted, your ex can move if she has good reasons. Do you know where she is planning to go? Will you still be able to see your son on the basis that you already do? If so, would that be agreeable to you?

You mention that you and your ex have both remarried and there are other kids involved. Are these other kids your son's half-siblings/stepsiblings? Do you think he would want to be parted from them if it came to it that he could move in with you permanently? Sorry for all the questions but there is a lot to think about. I agree that moving schools and being disrupted so many times isn't ideal - I know that from personal experience. Your son has had a lot of upheaval in his life already, what with you and his mum parting, new married partners and other children to contend with too. I can understand why you want to provide stability in his life.

Hi i3lade4life,

I have to say that i am probably going to disagree with the above posters in many respects here.

What i would say that if it is indeed the case that your son is being moved from pillar to post between houses and schools. If you went for custody, i would go out on a limb and say that you certainly have a good case. Given your son is 9 its highly unlikely a court will consider his opinion.

In my opinion if the mother is indeed as you say moving every year, and has moved him schools 6 times in as many years, this is not providing a stable environment and unfortunately this in my opinion and i am sure many will agree with me on here that there is no continuity in his life.

You definately have a case to bring before the courts, as father, that is your right. If you were going to bring this to court i would do so on the basis that:

i) Your son has now moved school 6 times in 6years and (provided school reports state under achievement (nasty i know) then there is evidence that is detrimental to the education of your son and therefore his future life chances
ii) with your ex moving as frequently as she does this may/may not seek to mean that his continuity is always being affected (8 times as you put it).

One thing i would say is that if he has glowing school reports, there may not be much point in bringing this to court. Don't let your gripes get in the way of your sons best interests.