[Solved] Moving my daughter away!

Hi Window1,

You do not mention if your current arrangement of access or residency is an agreed arangement or has been court ordered.

It seems that you have had a good relationship with your ex up until now and that she is a capable parent to your daughter.

In my opinion you have, like most men, have somewhat of an uphill struggle in gaining sole residency however as it is the childrens best interest that ought to be considered here is my opener for you.

Base your case around the childrens welfare checklist, attached, and focus on the fact that your daughter will be removed from school, family, friends etc and that any disruption would be detrimental to her needs and emotional development.

Sorry for being so brief but I have to dash, beach time, and I am sure that one of our more experienced members will provide further very useful advice and guidance.

P.S. Your not alone and your in the right place Sir......

P.P.S Anyone else wishes to use the attachement, feel free.

Regards,

Dave

:boohoo: oops....doco attached

Hi there 🙂

When is the move to take place? Time is often of the essence in such cases.

Going to court is always a last result, it puts so much strain on the working relationship of the parents and pits one against the other.

It might be advisable to think about applying for a Prohibited Steps Order instead, if successful this would prevent the mother from removing the child. It then might be more feasible to apply for Shared Residency, which gives both parents parity.

I am not legally trained and I wouldn't dream of advising you one way or the other, but there are other options, as I have outlined. Perhaps you should discuss these with your solicitor.

It might be a good idea to consider Mediation, it might be helpful for you both to discuss the pros and cons of this move. Heres a link -

www.nfm.org.uk

I don't know when the move is due to take place, but I'd imagine she'd want it done before the new school year in September?

In response to an earlier question, the agreement is not through a court, we just agreed this ourselves 5 years ago, and have kept to it ever since.

I think that we already have parity with regards the residency, as we have been sharing my daughter for the past 5 years. I believe that it is important for the child to see both parents getting on, I'd never bad mouth her mum in front of her.

I don't see how this can be sorted in meadiation, as I am not willing to agree to see my daughter less than I do right now, this is not me being stubburn and selfish, this is what I think is best for my girl. 🙁

Is it still the case that the Dads are second class in the eyes of the law? For me, its all about my little girl and what is best for her, the support network, the education, friends, clubs etc

The reason I suggested a PSO and Shared Residence Order is really because of the courts thinking these days. Although you share your daughter at the moment its an informal arrangement.

You can have Shared Residency and contact written as week days with you and weekends with mum. Neither of you would be the resident parent so there's more equality, so the thought behind it goes. Courts are cautious about awarding sole residence to one parent as this can often make the non resident parent feel less important and the resident parent the one who has control. Usually there has to be serious safeguarding issues before a court will award residence to the other parent.

Who is in receipt of the child benefit? This is an indicator to the authorities of residency. If the mother is in receipt of these benefits she is considered the parent with care.

The object of the PSO is to prevent the mother from moving your daughter to another school and away from the family network. The trouble is lots of families move and relocate their children to new schools, it wouldn't be seen as hugely detrimental to her.

I'm not as positive about the outcome of an application for custody I'm afraid, but as I said I'm not legally trained and I only speak from experience and the many experiences of other Dads that post here and on other sites.

There is still bias towards the mother in our judicial system, if you are lucky enough you might get a good judge they will look at the merits of your case without preconceptions....however there are some judges that display a bias towards the mother and will find in their favour regardless. My son has experienced both types and if you read through some of the past stories on here you will see what I mean.

Its for these reasons that I suggest Mediation. Courts will expect you both to have attempted to resolve the problem in this way before applying to court for their intervention. Have you spoken to the mother about your feelings, perhaps if she knew that you were prepared to go all the way she may rethink.