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Hi i done a quick search on google and this site popped up i'm pulling my hair up and nearly giving up i hope someone can help..
I got a 19month little boy and 3month boy with my ex partner.
before i got with my partner she had 2 children and had them removed from her car for emotional child neglect (which i didnt discover until she was pregnant with my 1st).
Upon my eldest being born my ex-partner was taken into a mother and baby foster unit to be assessed under a section 20 which is voluntery. I stuck by her through this as at the time i did love her and i was seeing them 5 days a week for 3 hours a day after work and/or on the weekend.
I spent last christmas with them at my address for 4 whole days but then sadly on 6th jan we split up and i move back to my mums 30 miles away.
Quickly contact between me and my son deteriorated as my ex wouldnt turn up or turn up hours late i stopped seeing him february.I spoke to the social services and my solicitor they both said bring it up in court,then in june court happened and then i was granted a contacted order and i was meant to see my son 4 times in a centre to build the bond and then unsupervised after that. The 4 times a week was to be over a month which went really bad as my son had forgotten me. the social woker sat in these contacts and advised me that everything i was doing was well over standard and should of been more than enough but my little boy wouldnt setlle and gets really distressed.
As the contact was going bad the judge awarded that contact carries on as its in my sons best interest. Well in august my ex took my son and ran away and didnt turn up to court, after 3 weeks of looking through various mean which included the police she was found with another child too. we had an emergancy hearing and i suggested that there is an interim care order in place as to stop this happening again and to help me to start seeing my son again. I have undertaken a dna test and the other child is mine was conceived in late december.
Well the social worker has been away for 5 weeks and returned to work today. At 9:30 i telephoned her office and asked when i am seeing my son again, her reply was we are suggesting that you only see him once more as he is too distressed and doesnt know you. i abrutly put the phone down distressed myself.
since i been going to court my ex has made this mistakes:
1. lost 2 children
2. drove illegally with my children in a car
3. broke every court order given to her
4. ran away with my son
5. had a child behind the social services back
6. been proved to be a liar in the court
7. has a voilent criminal past
Since i been going to court i have done this:
1. parenting assessment which i passed
2.got a mortgage (stable home for us)
3. parenting classes
4. seeing a councillor
There is many more too but i am struggling to cope as i am getting treated like a criminal when i only be a dad! i have another child which i see 6 days a week with no problem. I think what i would like to know is what help is there for dads? I really hope that someone on here can help
Thanks
Johnny
Sounds like you need an Enforcement Order.
I've just spent another £200 and applied for one....hearing end of next month....99% certain to get it as my ex has p*ssed the courts and Judge off big time by refusing to attend court and breaking every order he makes!
i'm no expert but Enforce the Order seems to be the way ahead!
hi
i suggested this to my solicitor and i cant get an enforcement order as i agreed for an interim care order so i have shot myslef in the foot by sharing parental responsablity with the social services.
it feels like there is one excuse after the other.
It may be worth writing a letter to the Judge in your case.....stating what the SS have told you and asking for amendment to the order?
To: ACTD/YOJI --- GUYS!!!
Do you think someone from the legal centre ought to have a think about this one??.....surely the SS can't go against a judge or court order without good reason or legal backing???
the SS excuse is the fact that they can override the contact order as my son is distressed as he doesnt know me and they feel that he will be less stressed if he didnt see me..
The thing that hurts the most is before his mother stopped me seeing him he was all for me and didnt really wanna know her everytime he cried i went to him, when he woke up in the night i went to him, i walked around the front room with him in a baby carrier for hours.. everytime i started to get ready to go home he used to go crazy for me, if i got up and went into the kitchen or toilet he would look for me. Now he cries when he sees me and doesnt know who i am.
My next court date is the 17th jan so i wont see him over xmas 🙁
I'll ask the CCLC to pop on on give an opinion - don't think there is anyone in the office until 2nd January, so hopefully you'll get an opinion then.
I've also asked the Family Rights Group whether they are able to assist.
I think both the CCLC and FRG will probably have a backlog to work through, so hopefully the next days or 2.,
Dear Johnny,
Actd referred your posts to me.
I am an adviser from Family Rights Group. We specialise in advising families about children services (social services). I am sorry that we have taken time to respond to your post.
I am sorry that your family have had such a difficult time recently and that there are now care proceedings.
I can see that children services have an interim care order in respect of your son and that you had been having regular contact with him which was supervised by the social worker. You say that the assessment of you was positive and that the social worker was happy with your contact. However, due to incidents beyond your control-contact did not take place regularly. Recently, contact has not been a positive experience for your son. The social worker says that your son does not know you and he has been distressed and that she is proposing that contact between you and your son stop.
Please have a look at our advice sheet on contact when a child is subject to a care order or interim care order. It sets out the law and research about contact when a child is in care.
contact with a child subject to a care or interim care order.
The law states that unless the court gives Children’s services permission to refuse contact, children’s services must allow your son to have reasonable contact with you as a parent. Therefore children services will only be able to stop you having contact-if they get a court order or if you agree.
To get a court order they will need evidence that contact is harmful to your son.
Other party’s in the proceedings will also have a view. What is the guardian’s position? S/he will need to make her own decision whether contact carries on or not. Has s/he observed contact?
If you have not done so, let your solicitor knows that you want contact to continue. He may recommend that the matter be set down for a hearing. Is other evidence needed?-Can someone else assess the contact visit? Can work be done with your son to help him recognise you? What are the long term plans for your son?
Our advice sheet about care proceedings is here
care proceedings
I hope the points I have made and the advice sheets may help but if you have further questions please post back. If you you want to discuss in detail you could also call our free and confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. It is open Monday to Friday 9:30 to 3:30. Or post on our parents forum here
parents forum
Family Rights Group
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