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I just want to see what my odds are if I was to take my ex-girlfriend to court over visitation rights and me being able to take our child out as I feel.
We have a 2 year son but my ex only allows me to see him once a week because apparently I was unreliable with our set days and I think this is unfair. She won't even allow me to take him out to the park by myself let alone to a my family gatherings just because she doesn't 'trust' me to take care of him properly. She claims she doesn't trust me because when she did allow me to take him out, I returned him back home quite late even though she asked me to have him back at a set time. I don't feel like she should be able to tell me how long I can have my son out so I stayed out as long I needed to be out.
She doesn't give me a say in anything whatsoever when it concerns our son: doesn't allow me to take him out, Gives me once a week and sometimes cancels on me because she says they're going out. She has even got CSA on me so now I have to be making payments.
Additional info: I have been cautioned for 'domestic violence' towards her and for criminal damage. The reason why she gave me once a week is because I failed to attend the days we agreed upon due to working hours. The reason why she doesn't allow me to take our son out ANYWHERE, not even to my PARENTS is because I returned him late in the night and ignored all her calls and messages.
I see my son at her house because she refuses to bring him to my parents house. My parents also visits him every week at her house because according to her she doesn't like cats or want them around our son and because my father and brother smokes and my parents home isn't 'kids safe' when it actually is, she's just making excuses.
What could happen if I was to take her to court for more visitation rights and being able to take him out without her, would I be entitled to this and more? Also could I get my son around my parents house without her having a say or coming with him?
I don't feel like she should be able to tell me how long I can have my son out so I stayed out as long I needed to be out.
Hi young
As the parent with care, and with no contact order in place, she can do exactly that, and to be honest, I think you were lucky that the police weren't called since he was late back and you ignored calls and texts.
If you go to court for a contact order, I would suspect that with this incident and with your caution, your case is going to be incredibly weak - you need to accept the situation and to work within the limitations, and after a few months of the contact going well, you would have more chance of succeeding in court, but by then it might be possible that your ex might be a little more flexible.
I would consider mediation at the moment - it may be that you can come to an agreement of how contact should happen in the short term, and how it could change over the medium term.
So if i keep to the once a week that she has put in place and be consist, do you reckon that I might have a good chance in court of being able to take my son out with out and pick him up on my days and return him back without her? What happens if she refuses and roughly how long do you think it will take the courts to come to a decision.
Thank you so much for your advice, I've been seeking advice for months!
I agree with ACTD.
I understand that work can often interfere with contact and your ex is supposed to be reasonable about this, but you have made a rod for your own back with the caution and what appears to be a fairly poor track record to date.
As ACTD has already suggested, you need to stick to her terms and keep your nose clean for a few months. Then you need to raise the issue again and if she's reluctant, I would suggest that you ask her to consider mediation.
Court should always be a last resort.
FM '70
If in a few months the mother still refuses to review contact and ignores an offer of mediation, you will have no choice other than to make an application for a contact order.
This usually takes around 6-8 weeks from the point of application to a first hearing, but the whole process can take months depending on how vigerously the mother contests the application.
You need to keep your cool and show that you can be patient and reasonable.
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