[Solved] My Wife states changing locks on house end of May.

May i add reason is breakdown in relationship, re she does everything etc ( which is further than the truth ).
She has tried to turn everyone against me her family, friends, now she is trying to turn my love of my life against me my son. I work overnights 12 hr shifts so dont see enough of my son, but on my days off i take him and pick him up from nursery etc etc. When we go out just us the two of us re my son we have great times, re recent visits to London Zoo and London Transport museum.

She is like poison at moment, laughing and commenting how funny it will be for me to be homeless in front of my son, and how better off they would be. Worse scenario is i know this has been pre-planned as her brother is currently separated from his wife, and is always round when im working on nights, he is ok guy but smokes large quantities of dope! Dont really want him moving in as i know this is what they are trying to acheive.
I will contact social services re my son , to keep him away as one it stinks and two he is driving illegally sometimes with my son as a passenger.

Anyway ive rattled on too long need some help going bit crazy at mo.

Sounds a tough one for me mate. I take it you pay mortgage through your own bank account which I'd guess would be evidence you pay towards the house.

Contact a solicitor ASAP and ask them if the do a free 30 minute consultation would be my suggestion as many solicitors do this and you should be able to work out from that if your entitled to legal aid. That would be my suggestion.

Thanks Mr Pegg will do that, was hoping would all be rectified off course but got to be realistic she aint backing down, mortage is paid by me thru own account.

Thanks again as so far on my own on this

I agree with Mr_Pegg about going to see a solicitor for a consultation to sort out where you stand with the property. However, one thing to consider, even if she can't legally change the locks, what would you do if she did? The problem is that if you break in, she could call the police and it's a situation that you don't want to be in.

Realistically, I would consider moving out voluntarily (assuming that you don't think there is any chance of reconciliation, and it doesn't sound like there is), work out what the CSA would take in maintenance payments, and pay no more than this to her, and put the rest towards renting your own place and concentrating your efforts on getting a contact agreement - bear in mind also that if you fight it, you could end up with a large legal bill.

I'd read yoji's guide to representing yourself, top of the legal section, with regards to getting a contact order, but I'd also discuss, if possible, with your partner the idea of going to mediation to try to agree contact.

Thanks guys im feeling bit better, as trying to work on best solution on my own at moment.
Reference to changing locks she was going to do this few months back, she was on phone to locksmith in front of me,stated coming 1 pm that afternoon, i called local police who turned up at 12.50 and told her what she was attempting to do was illegal and they warned her after hearing her story, so it is on record with local police.

I know what you are saying re go of my own accord, but ive invested heavily in our home, and i havent done anything to be on the street looking for bedsits. As stated before this has been pre-planned for me to walk and her brother to move in and i cant do it im afraid will fight to bitter end before he is in my house with my son.

Thanks again guys will sleep bit easier tonight i hope.

If you've been through this before, is there any chance that relate could help? As for paying £1300 per month, how is this done and is there any agreed basis for this?

Hi Fabregas,

Sorry to hear of your situation. I'd say you are following the correct channels and are doing a good job so far. So commendations sir.

I suppose the most obvious question is, what contact are you presently getting with your Son, is it fixed times or can it be flexible?

Just to clarify a few points:
If your name is on the Mortgage, you are liable for this (either in part if you can agree it with your ex, or jointly fully responsible if your Mortgage company suggests)
You should be paying maintenance too and its around about 12% of your gross pay (15% of net (take home) pay)
Contact HMRC Tax Credits to notify that you are no longer a couple, as they will be chasing you for 50% of any overpayment

Obviously, i don't know about your financial affairs, but it would be worth speaking to a Solicitor to have finances sorted and a Deed of Separation (also known as a Clean Break) sorted. This dependent on circumstances and financial complexity can take 6wks to 20wks... or in rare cases i.e. mine, 2yrs and still waiting for ex to set some proposals against mine.

With regard to your ex's brother, i would in honesty be doing the same regarding Social Services and the drug use. A 3 year old or any child in my opinion should not be exposed to that. I would start keeping a diary from as far back as you can remember and update it after every contact session and any discussions you need to record.

Thanks again guys at present no problem with contact with my son, as still living in house but i suppose this could change. But i take him nursery twice a week on my days off, as work every other w-end.
Also take him out at weekends when not working.

Re finance mortage is approx £1050 per month which i pay, plus approx another £150 towards bills then spending on food and clothes for son, so approx £1400 leaves me minus each month after been paid.Have now spent whatever savings i had for rainy day,has been many of them lately lol! re holidays as outgoings outweighing incomings.

My wife isnt a greedy person imo, but credit cards are her downfall which is worry for my sons future.

Please see a solicitor ASAP. One that will provide a free initial consultation.

Plan your questions beforehand as a free consultation is likely to only last 30 mins ( I know from experience)

In fact it may be wise to seek out two or three solicitors that offer initial consultations.

Take proof of I'd etc and take along with you your most recent wage slip along with a detailed sheet explaining your outgoings along with proof ie bank statements.

Then work out where you go from there mate.

Actd will give Relate a go if wife agrees off course,and thanks Mr Pegg for your help off to bed now. Thanks again to all feels like burden off my shoulders just chatting etc and info given.

Saw solicitor today he told me she has no rights to change locks etc. E-mailed her this info, but states will still go ahead at end of month.
Tonight she showed up with her mum unannounced and took my 3 year old son from his bed he was sleeping in, after i had him since last night, as i take him and pick him up from nursery on my days off work.I was supposed to take him nursery on train in morning which he enjoys re the tube.
I didnt cause scene as son was sleeping, after mailing her news re locks, ive been sent lots of nasty e-mails and texts re myself, and what im doing to my son and im so selfish. I am looking after his best interest, if she thinks im walking out to be homeless and without my son, we are going to have a battle.

They are going away this w-end, back Sunday,then going Spain next Tuesday for week, i worried sick re my son.
Anyone help if she can just turn up and take him?

Thanks

Hi fabregas,

Your Solicitor is correct, she cannot change the locks. Speak to your Solicitor about what actions you can take to have entry re-granted, remember you cannot be charged for breaking in to your own property, however you must leave it secure on leaving.

- Save the Texts/Emails
- Get a Court Ordered Contact Order (you've got to think of getting guaranteed times here)

Technically, there is nothing stopping you from just turning up and taking your Son either, however traditionally, you would more likely be accused of assault or something similar. If you have a Court Order, this can be refused if you have documentary evidence of an agreement or it is your time. Police also cannot become involved in this instance... it is a Civil matter.

Don't worry. Just keep a record of everything thats gone on, get yourself to Court. You need to file for Divorce fairly quickly too if you are saying that your Finances are now crippling you. This is the only way in which finances are going to be brought to a head.

Thanks Yogi

Just to add one point to yoji's - whatever she emails you or texts you, under no circumstances should you reply in the same manner. Consider that all these communications could well be shown to a judge - let her dig a hole for herself, and if you can remain calm and professional in your replies, it's going to make your case much easier.