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Hi My name is Scott, I'm 22 and have a 2 year old son to my ex partner. We have been separated about a 18 months I had access every second weekend from Friday to Sunday but that slowly faded and now she has been turning nasty and I have no access at all. I contacted lawyers and had letter after letter sent out and ignored.
I am at the stage now where this will need to go to court to resolve the issues and regain contact with my son but on talking to a few people about this I have heard a lot of stories about the whole court thing. People tell me that 9 times out of 10 if the mother does not want the father seeing the child the mother will tend to win the case one way or another,whether its done by telling untrue stories in court or any other way if the mother wants it the mother gets it.
I have also been told that if I do get access through court then it could go in and out of court for years every time anything happens that is out with the court ruling (or when the mother gets board or p**sed off and just wants a bit of drama or to cause me hassle)
I don't know if anyone here has gone through the court system to gain access to there child/children but it is something that worries me, can anyone share there court experiences? or offer ANY advice possible. My situation has been the same for so long and it is getting me down and very much effecting my life I don't want it to drag on any longer 🙁
Thanks
Scott
Hi Scott
Unfortunately, your situation is not uncommon, as I'm sure you realise reading the forum. There is no easy solution, and going to court is never a pleasant time whatever the outcome.
You will need to try mediation first, a court will expect you to have tried this first and if your ex refuses, then it puts her at a disadvantage when it then goes to court, but there's always the possibility that it might actually succeed.
Generally, a court will always give access to the father unless the welfare or safety of the child(ren) is at risk. It is true that the resident parent (usually the mother) can make it awkward, and mess contact around, but having a contact order in place means that there is something to work from in order to get contact enforced. It will also show your son in later life that you were fighting to have contact, and your ex was the one preventing it - that will mean a lot to your son later on.
The bad news is that fighting for contact can cost a lot of money (tens of thousands is possible) - you need to get an idea of costs from your solicitor for both best case and worst case scenario (and even then, it can still go much higher) and then decide whether you want to use a solicitor or do it yourself - if you look through the forum, you will see that it can, and has been, done successfully, and you'll certainly get lots of help, advice and support on here.
Main thing though is not to give up.
Scott, just state valid reason why you feel that gaining access to the child will help in his/her up-bringing.
I am currently in court for my daughter who doesn't want to live with her mum. We currently have contact order set in place and hence I have now file in for a RESIDENCE order which will mean court attendances to justify my case. Simply the child has stated out-rightly that she does not want to live with mum due to revelation and most importantly that she is not very supportive of her.
So be firm and stable and I am quite sure you will get what is right for the child.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
